A website dedicated to human stupidity and dumbness


With the original cast already getting played out and too old for the routine, MTV is getting ready to start top secret casting calls for the second round of Jersey Shore which they will call “Jersey Shore Phase 2.”  The original cast doesn’t know it yet but our sources tell us that they will not be asked back for the 2013 season.

“We hope to start sending out our castingscouts for Jersey Shore Phase 2 by the middle of March 2012.” said a source close to the associate casting director.

“This time we are going to stick strictly with Italian-Americans who have lived in New Jersey for at least the last ten years of their lives.  We will not use Chilean born midgets or subintellects from Rhode Island or New York.  This will be strictly a New Jersey thing and this time the parents of the kids will be involved in the show as well since each episode will have one of the cast member’s parents hosting the episode — cooking, cleaning and supervising.   They won’t live with the cast and they will have to be out of the way by nightfall when we expect the cast to do wild stuff –perhaps even wilder than what you’ve seen in the past.”

According to our sources, MTV is looking for 4 guys and 4 girls ages 21 – 23 only!  Nobody older will be accepted — no exceptions.  They must have a clean bill of health from our doctors who include doctors of Internal Medicine and Psychiatry.  Drug tests will be performed and only low to middle-range blood  levels of designer drugs, anabolic steroids, birth control pills and marijuana will be accepted to pass the physical.

MTV is building a new, and more spacious house a few blocks from the old ragtag house that has been serving as the current house for the Guidos.

Another weird stipulation is that the casting calls will not be open so there is no reason to call.  MTV will be sending out secret scouts.  People you would never suspect will be working for MTV in search of cast members.  The theory behind this is that they don’t want impostors or people who are putting on an act as though they are Guidos or Guidettes.

“They have to be real,”  said an anonymous source (that’s how secret this is)  — Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino turned out to be an untalented impostor who is rumored to be gay and Paulie D was perceived of as a strange and distant almost autistic thing.   The quiet one, Vinny Guadagnino, was only really looking to start a movie career and wasn’t a real Guido.  In essence, they were all wanna-be actors and actresses and in reality none of them had any talent.  The Situation’s recent humiliating stint on a Comedy Central Roast was more than ample testament as to why we need really dopey Guidos who aren’t up to anything but drinking, sexing and fighting.

“It sounds nasty but that’s the kind of real reality we want.  It’s hard to believe but reality TV is not as real as you think.  This time we want to keep it really real and our scouts are working everywhere from low-end jobs as retail cashiers to bartenders at NJ nightclubs.  We’ve even climbed the ladder a bit and made a bunch of our scouts junior college teachers and students.  We will find real, dyed in the wool Guidos and Guidettes.  Another key is we want them to be super hot and super sexy.  No dogs — we had a bunch of dogs in the previous cast.  The guys were okay looking but they weren’t hot stuff and the girls were nothing that would turn any heads in the south of France — in other words, we are looking for gorgeous morons.”

So New Jersey guys and gals 21-23 — you never know who is watching you.  But keep in mind that you have to be 21 -23 and you have to be from New Jersey.  MTV will make people they pick sign a sworn affidavit and anyone caught lying or cheating will be charged with theft of services — MTV is not fooling around.

  1. I think its dumb that only new jersey peeps can only get on the jersey shore show! in my opinion, i think you guys should pick me! 25 year old redneck that loves to have fun and cleans up to a number 10!! 😉 i mean, change it up a little bit! it`ll be interesting! $ou can hit me up on facebook -mandy johnson aka cr@zyc@mogirl

  2. It’s called JERSEY SHORE Mandy!


  4. AMD — the ratings are slowly dropping and the age group who watch the show is very fickle. The trends say that kids want new faces. The funny thing is that anyone could be working as a scout to cast the next crew. I heard that one casting scout is working at a TGIF near Rutgers in New Brunswick, NJ. I also heard that another casting scout is working this summer in an arcade in Point Pleasant Beach, NJ. My sources are very reliable. MTV admits to 54 casting scouts spread throughout northern and central New Jersey. It will be nothing like the Real World — this is going to work and make MTV rating soar!

  5. im a 21 year old italian from pittsburgh, PA and would be the BEST 2 be on that show. any1 who knows me would say the same. shouldnt amtter where your from!

  6. It’s called Jersey Shore — and this is exactly why they are having secret casting – far too many people think that they would be the BEST. Send TheDamienZone your photo and tell us why you think you are the best. Email DDM@TheDamienZone.com

  7. honestly we shudnt have to be from new jersey the real italians are from brooklyn new york !! everyone knows that. but it shudnt matter where you live… but iam deff a good 21 year old for jershore phase 2 .. i am fully italian palermo sicilian.. and very good looking and get alot of girls.. and i show alot of respect to people who respect me

  8. It’s called JERSEY Shore you freaking Moddy-Yoole! Don’t you fucking get it, Vinny? This is why casting directors get pissed off goddamit! Plus being Sicilian does not make you a “real Italian” — also the guys from New Jersey are much better looking and the girls are prettier. The Brooklyn Guidos are not from new jersey and they all put on too much fake tan — this is what I hate about casting — everybody thinks they are talented or qualified. The deal is that the person they cast has to be a guy or girl from New Jersey — end o’ story!

  9. None of this shut is true there is a casting call in Danbury, ct with angelina there. So much for just jersey where the hell to u get your sources.

  10. Where the hell did you learn to write and spell?

  11. please bring back the house mate’s i just loved them

  12. This DDM guy is obviously a moron, maybe you should be on the show as they are looking for morons. How could you possibly stereo type that NJ people are better looking. Honestly, the only difference between NY and NJ is that NY smells better, that’s a fact not an opinion like you made. Oh by the way, you could be a little more original with the picture in the article and not use something a decade old.

  13. You sound like a real genius. You can’t even punctuate or formulate a proper sentence for chrissakes ! I think you should take the next ferry to Fire Island Pines and go work the dunes for extra money. DDM

  14. Christ’s sake…Also, there is no space between the ending of a word and an exclamation point. Like I said, you’d make a great cast member for the new show, but you’re probably not good looking enough yourself to get on.

  15. How about this — Go write your own blog and tell me how well you do, okay? Folks, can you believe that I have to put up with Jersey Shore wanna-be’s from Fire Island.

  16. Wow, first of all, this is fake and not true! second of all you are truly retarded! You keep calling it JERSEY shore and saying because it is JERSEY shore that is why they need to be from NJ, the shoe is called JERSEY shore because it takes place on the JERSEY shore, and if you didn’t know it is a VACATION place that many Guidos go to vacation, most are from NY btw! However,this is a blog and you can write whatever you want in a blog, but they are all lies and you are wicked dumb if you think anyone believes you!! and yess I just said fucking “Wicked’ because Im a damn boston bitch and a lot more intellegant than you are!

  17. If you were indeed more “intelligent,” Brittany (Ooooh, how I hate that stuuuuupid name) you would know how to spell the word ( you spelled it “Intellegant”).

    Note to God: Dear God, Why do people from Boston think they are better Guidos than people fom NY or NJ? Why do they wear their ignorant Guido-ness as a badge of honor. The story is not fake and as a matter of fact I am being sued by MTV for revealing the real nature of the casting — your tan, however, is fake, your boobs are fake, your ass is fake. When it all come out, you can apologize — poor spelling and grammer and all.
    PS — I am Re-tah-did — as they say in Guido-starved Boston. What a fucking dump!

  18. I really wants to participate on this reality show i m from jersey newark , but i m a brazilian girl and i just turn to 26 , how thats sounds?? If u need a brazillian girl just call me :0) ..

  19. Do you mean, Newark, New Jersey ? I think you might be too dumb even for that show.

  20. The jersey shore should just be for jersey people! But it shouldn’t be for just whites though. A lot of people go there from jersey go there to have fun. Especially if we are talk sea side. me and my boys who are none white had lots of fun getting girls, partying and hitting the bars and we are not white. MTV should open their mind or call it “Guido Shore”.

  21. You can’t be a non white Guido — the whole concept is that they ARE Guidos — what part of that do you not understand?

  22. You are just a ignorant piece of shit look u moron gay lover nigger ass dick sucking stupid fuck if you think that a new cast will be ok is not true at all jersey shore start when this kids comeout with this natural way of doing what guidos do and not with those stupid gay looking guys you put on that picture you showing on blog ther”s no girls pics whats wrong with you the magic was created around this guys when they leave the show the magic goes with them and that will be the
    the end you stupid fuck!!!

  23. Nosferatu, I can’t praise your sentence structure, punctuation, grammar and spelling as much as I would like. You should have been a writer. Seriously though, how could a person write so poorly — your whole argument is lost because your comment reads like Rocky Graziano wrote it — and he’s been dead for 20 years. I think you’re a little stunod – eh? Go make some gravy for Sunday and relax.

  24. Well I may not be a writer but what you trying to do is bad mouth the original kids they start with this and people whant to see more of them not of those gay looking punks u put on that picture on your blog . I started to think that you may be one of them in that picture nigger lover piece of shit by the way where are the girls in this pictures you sorry ass stupid fuck nobody cares about a new jersey shore kids when they go the ratings will go down if they ever gett some.you know how jersey shore sounds with out the originals it sounds like if we change the actors in the movie titanic and put instead of dicapprio michael jackson,hewwww yikes or fof the girl we put ellen degeneres peeuuuuuk like I said u are like we originals italians say just e fligio de la puttana fuck off go take z swim with the.fishes!!!

  25. So — enough about Jersey Shore, Nosferatu. Tell me what it’s like to be an Italian vampire at the Surf Club?

  26. they need to show a new jersey shre alredy

  27. Yes they do , Reese. By the way, do you text a lot, or are you just a poor speller?

  28. Look u moron how come u dont gett it the only reason people like jersey shore was because they wasnt acting they were doing what young people do on jersey shore and most of the US. No matter what u say why dont u make make coments on the stupid kardashians (nigger lover) show with the interested gucci face mother they have or the freeloader brother they have and the walking corpse of stepfather see that sucks donkey ass and I dont no what italians u ask about the kids from jersey shore, may be u call the every body loves raymond set se thats wrong thats not the way we are the only reason we like this kids is because we identified with them I mean the ones who like to party and like girls not gay dudes like u I mean real kids from jersey shore this is who we are if u dont like it whacht something else like the real wifes of new york or those little horny girls from16 and pregnant that sucks donkey ass!!!! Se we almost every family has character that resemble on of them we dont have guys that look lik raymond yikeshhhh no way this is who we are so fuck of take it or leave it!!!


    Look, you moron. How come you don’t get it? The only reason people like “Jersey Shore” is because they weren’t acting. They were doing what young people do at the Jersey shore and most of the USA.

    No matter what you say, why don’t you make make coments on the stupid kardashian’s African-American loving show and the interested gucci-face mother, or the freeloader brother, and the walking corpse of stepfather.

    See, that sucks donkey ass. I don’t know what Italians you ask about the kids from “Jersey Shore.” Maybe you call the “Everybody Loves Raymond” set. That’s wrong. Thats not the only reason we like these kids. We identified with them — I mean the ones who like to party and like girls and not gay dudes like you.


    I mean real kids from jersey shore this is who we are if u dont like it whacht something else like the real wifes of new york or those little horny girls from16 and pregnant that sucks donkey ass!!!! Se we almost every family has character that resemble on of them we dont have guys that look lik raymond yikeshhhh no way this is who we are so fuck of take it or leave it!!!

  30. Kiss my italian guido ass u homo you and that nigger that leave a coment on july19 (aka me too) saying that they shouldn”t pick only guidos but all the guys from jersey shore including him and his nigger sons there u go u have a new shoe petition for mtv u should call it (the monkey shore) and the homo you. Of course starting u the new casting may be raymond and hillton perez but leave the jersey shore how it is no originals kids no jersey shore everythig will be fake like ur blog niggerlover ciao!!!

  31. Why do you attack me? I’m only playing along with you. I have to admit that “The Monkey Shore” remark was funny — in poor taste — but funny. Why do you call me a N word lover? I make fun of everybody — did you read what I wrote about Kanye West etc? C’mon — you’re pulling my leg now — nobody is this ignorant — it’s not possible.

  32. You know what, Nosferatu? I’m going to stop being nice to you. You’re nothing but a stupid, uneducated, unread, unknowing, ill-bred, loudmouthed c’afone. You’re a stupid fucking greaseball and a boorish asshole. Get the fuck off my blog and don’t come back. You’re a fucking disgrace — your IP adress is hereby blocked. Fuck off and spend the rest of your life being an unsophisticated caveman. You’re not an Italian — you’re a fucking American loser who is lucky enough to have Italian ancestry

  33. Well if u start talking the right thing everything will be ok I no that originals are not the best example of guidos outhere but at least tney open up people minds changing the idea that all italians are mafia related and look like everybody loves raymond and the duffus of his brother we better that this is what we do ther s nothing wrong with young peple to have fun see I didnt
    Offend u this time I guess I think!!!

  34. Well see is not the same to talk crapp about somebody that can’t defend” because they dont no u exist but is all cool hoppefully u give them, and all the guidos the chance to show who we are and yes we diferent than all those guidos that live in italy my respect to them, but this is,
    how most of the kids from jersey shore live and i think that is nothing wrong with that!!!

  35. Sooooo, anywayyyy. Can I be on the show?

  36. So now u scared to replied what I said damian so much for a blog master hahaha answer me blog cappone are u scared im thinking that u are just a boring white dude ha whatts uph!!!???

  37. And no u new dirty guy u can’t be on the show this is for guidoss and guidettes only. By the way the african american society are going to write their own version of jersey shore is going to be call the monkey shore ,so u can join them good luck hahahaha moron!!!

  38. What do you want from my life? How do you like my new web design?

  39. I truly have various people come up to me telling me to try out for the casting call!!!!! Check me out, I would be a GREAT addition!! face book name — Erica Stevenson. (I do think the rule being you have to be from jersey, is a little absurd.)

  40. Erica — are you mentally slow? Where in the story does it say that I am responsible for casting the show. You sound like one of those kids who goes to a school where the teachers are so fucking lazy that you pass the yearly reading comprehension exam. Another thing — if people come up to you and tell you that you should be on Jersey Shore, you should not only realize that they are calling you an idiot,. but people are not casting directors — there’s more to it than looking and sounding like the existing cast. You have to have something eles and you don’t have it — or at least it sure sounds like you don’t. And by the way, do you know how many Erica Stevensons there are on Facebook? You’re dumb enough, however, to have a different show — like JERSEY RETARDS — I’ll let you know when they cast that — but try to remember in your pea-brain that I have NOTHING to so with casting. LEARN TO READ!


  41. Cool damian hey I was kind of rude before but dont worry and u new blog shines hey why this people dont gett it and keep on trying to be part of something they don’t belong and will never gett cause they are not (GUIDOS) idiots just sit down and shut up and if u guys are not guidos or widettes just resign to be expectators morons!!!

  42. I think that I would be a new improved of the original crew.. I wouldnt argue on reality tv!! I would throw my turntable or that duck phone at some douche ^_^

    Id be the DJ replacement for Pauly haha

  43. i think that is so stupid that you have to live in jersey and that your parents have to be involved. The show wont def last that way. i like it for the way it is and thats the way it should stay it has been doing good that way so far

  44. Well, Nocole, you should call MTV and voice your opinion!

  45. i show u how fist pumpn really done

  46. I think they should keep the original cast becuz these new ppl gonna try n OVER DO IT.. its only gonna result in lost of ratings and money then mtv gonna go crawling back to the original cast..

  47. This is all bullshit lies. They are currently filming season 6 (with original cast). MTV even said they have no reason to get rid of the current cast and have much more plans for them. Wouldn’t you think the ratings would go down if this whole thing was true? This is the worst piece of shit article blog that I’ve ever read before.

  48. And you believe them? You’re a freakin’ stunod!

  49. Whatever that means? How accurate are your sources if I might ask?

  50. My sources who told me that you are a freaking stunod are very reliable.

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