The thousands of white trash New Jersey gun happy hunters who set off into the woods of northern New Jersey for the six-day black bear hunt bagged 264 of the bruins on the first day. There is no reason for the hunt other than shithole New Jersey has run out of room with all their tacky Mac Mansions being built in areas that once used to be the home for black bears.
“We are trashy and we like our beer, so fuck you’s,” said John Skugg of the ultra trashy town of Newton. “I was so drunk on beer today but I still managed to kill a bear. I guess I will just leave it here to rot or I’ll go Applebees and celebrate because I deserve a night at a fancy restaurant. I might even get a new tattoo or buy that vintage Metallica T shirt I saw for sale in Keansburg last summer.”
Monday’s tally was the highest one-day take in the seven years of the hunt, The Star-Ledger of Newark reported. The last hunt was in 2005 but the people have gotten trashier in New Jersey.
The hunt is aimed at slowing the growing bear population that really is fine the way it is, as the animals have moved in closer to neighborhoods, sometimes preying on livestock and searching for garbage. There’s been one reported attack on a person (hope they died) during the first half of the year, the state said, but the real reason behind the hunt is that white trash hunters love to kill. They would kill their neighbors if it were legal to do so.
Opponents, who lost a court bid to stop the hunt, showed up at two weighing stations, some shouting, “Go home, murderers.”
There was one arrest when a protester reportedly refused orders to stay in a defined demonstration area, The Star-Ledger reported. “We have to respect their right to live,” protester Bill Craine of New York said as he was handcuffed but he still pissed in the gas tank of a nearby trashy pick-up truck with a rifle rack and a dream catcher on the rear view mirror which indicates that the driver of that pick-up was a blood thirsty lesbian.