OFFICIAL DISCLAIMER:
TheDamienZone.com sometimes disguises names in its stories to protect identities of morons and their personal information — except in cases when public figures are being satirized, or when a story about a misquote attributed to any persons, living or dead, is being abused for comical purposes of self-promotion. Any other use of real names in funny or obviously humorous articles is accidental and coincidental or simply because the writer is a nasty, foul-mouthed, intolerant GENIUS! . The content of this web-site—graphics, text and other elements—is © Copyright 2010 by TheDamienZone.com and may not be reprinted or re-transmitted in whole or in part without the expressed written consent of the publisher. We are REAL serious about that.
TheDamienZone.com is not intended for readers under 18 years of age because it is written by the meanest son of a bitch on the face of the earth.
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The Damien Zone is written in Belgium by Damien LeGallienne. All emails should be addressed to Damien Direct Mail — DDM@thedamienzone.com
The purpose of the website as the writers created it, is to praise human accomplishment and to mock human non-accomplishment — it depends on the achievement. People are basically stupid and simple. The writers try to point that out. They also try to glorify goodness truth and beauty when and where they occur. They also like to showcase new talent in the arts.
TheDamienZone also hires outside writers when who are available to write for certain fields of genuine expertise when the staff is unable to get an interview with an expert.
IN MEMORY OF NURSE VALERIE MORTAR-BENNETT
1921- 2010
The greatest nurse who helped a lot of really stupid people.
You realize you have a typographical error in your disclaimer, yes? Ironic, considering your mission…
Make your own blog, Maggie. I would love to see just how bad a bad blog can be — your blog would probably push the envelope of horror. Why do I know that? Because you’re a nit-picking douche bag. That’s why.
Man…people are fucking idjits. “You got a spelling error…whine bitch nag..” STFU asshole. Its a great website. Goddamned insecure women become spelling and grammar nazis when they have nothing else to go on.
You have got to be the dumbest motherfucker on earth. Why go to the trouble of creating such a mediocre “blog-shit” webpage and then “blame” the coding for your lack of understanding proper English? To add insult to injury, you go so low as to argue with a fuckwit who could cares two shits about your ignorant and pathetic opinion. DDM, if you know coding (and I’m am afraid you don’t know much besides the basics LOL) you know grammatical errors happened due to TYPOS in the coding… AKA YOURSELF! DUMBSHIT Ever hear of you condescending prick. That ALONE shows that the coding of a page AND your sorry grammatical skills are TWO COMPLETELY SEPARATE arguments dipshit. Unless of course you can’t differentiate between and LOL (that is, if you still take ownership of the fact that you code your own shitty blog.
I browsed this page for 20 minutes and couldn’t help but laugh at your “theme”
Who in this fucking world makes a blog about other peoples stupidities? Really? This is coming from the homophobic prick that bashes Rogan, McIlroy, to name a few… when you yourself can’t even get passed those pathetic paintbrush skills. I mean, who the fuck uses PAINT TO ALTER PICTURES? What the fuck is this 1988? You low life misogynistic prick. Hey, at least McIlroy has a decent and steady paycheck, let alone a CAREER.
What is it exactly that you do? Collect welfare and blame your lack of coding skills as the reason why your grammar is below that of a third grader?
I hope you see the irony of your page, because the only ignorant dumbass that’s around lurking this garbage of a webpage is yourself.
Talk about a waste of sperm you must of been….
And you think that I’m dumb, eh? I just got you to spend an hour of your life – and you boosted my average page reading time by about 3 seconds thank you — trying to insult me when all you did was prove my point. You — an angry nobody — spent an hour or more of your life perusing and writing about my “shitty Blog” yet all you managed to really do is prove what this blog is designed to point out — that there are stupid people in the world — especially in Florida.
Yes, it would be a super idea for me to change my theme — a real marketing coup to update my intentionally silly use of PAINT that somehow brings in 2-million unique visitors every 18 months — yeah — that would be real smart. You have a deep and profound knowledge of this blog and all of its contents. You are a great computer wizard, and as for grammatical skills — sigh. You don’t understand that when something is translated from one language to another that the person who does the copy — a simple typist — will make mistakes? For that reason you wasted so much time? How did you manage to pull yourself away from playing Blood On The Ice, you human sump pump?
I love when I set the stage for hapless fuktards like you — and you’re on one right now. Of course you’re too angry and hostile to realize it. Turnabout is fair play, and the irony of all ironies is that you you hope that I see the irony. You simply do not agree with the basic tenets of many of the dopey stoies on here so this is how you act out. Good for you.
Having a wonderful time
Wish you were smart
Damien LeGallienne
Liege, Belgium
Dalla, Texas, USA.
The language of the replies is a bit strong for a comment about a typo.
If the language is strong, it’s because I know the person being addressed is a jerk — and that’s what they deserve.
Haha your website is the worst website I have even seen. You probably are some miserable fat scumbag in your mothers basement.
Do you have any clue how trite and ordinary and common you sound? “Fat” “Miserable” “Mother’s basement” — ugh — you left out “off your meds” and the usual “Pathetic” — YOU live in trashville Birmingham, Alabama — shut up and go have some pork rinds.
1. I should probably have looked here before analyzing whether or not your work was satire.
2. Or not, I like analyzing.
3. |Damien Sucks a Lot says “I don’t like this cheezeburger. Thus, the cook is a pedofile who eats garbage.” What the fuck logic is this? I’ve seen this kind of error in thinking but all I can think to call it is unrelated English fail.
4. Seriously, what kind of argument/fallacy is it called when someone says “A is trait 1. Thus, the owner of A has traits 2, 3, and 4”?
Dedicated to STUPIDITY and DUMBNESS. Never truer words. FITS YOU!
To Damien. I actually enjoyed reading your blog on the Ellen Hoax… insight is important no matter what. BUT, after reading your replies to some of your readers, I will never peruse your site again. And I’m sure you’ll reply with a comment such as “Good, you dumb bitch because I don’t want ignorant dumb asses like you on my site anyway”. Too bad as you could be so much more.
Cher — you took the words right out of my mouth.
OMG! Love your blog…all of the above have no sense of humor. Fuck’em!
Thank you, Meg — You are a woman of taste and substance.
Sincerely
Damien LeGallienne.
Discovering your blog for the first time with the article about the woman who snatched the base ball from the little girl . . . don’t care if you made it up or not, it’s hilarious. And my family in the same room are looking at me like I’m goofy as I enjoy a “belly laugh” about “Grennele Brashkowitz’s” comments. Thanks for the entertainment — you are very good at what you do. Best, Letty
cool we have the same name. btw I love your blog and how you destroy all of the people who hate your blog for no real reason.
Don’t bother responding so this as I won’t be coming back to this site unless I need to give an example of horrible journalism, if we can call it that. I guess anyone who can smash their face on a keyboard can be called a writer nowadays. By now, Damien, you probably know this comment is meant to bash you.
I might be giving you too much credit… Damien, I’m bashing you.
If you are as important as you claim to be and can’t be bothered by the peasantry, I dare you not to read on because the time you take to respond could be better used to take another shit on your computer. Also, why don’t you ever take the time to thank the rare folk who do enjoy your work? Food for thought… you dick.
Hi Damien, I knew you’d be here, let’s get down to business. Before you start formulating a response (I know you already are, that ego though lmao), thank you for creating a site where millions of people have gathered within a short amount of time. Very impressive, I was afraid I would have to work very hard to have people read this. I know what you’re thinking, only when I’ve created a site as great as yours will I be as impressive as you are and have the privilege to address you. I also know how hard it is to write well, maybe someday you will too. And as for your millions of readers? Who doesn’t like to read a good joke?
You are unprofessional, you are agreeing and thinking I’m dumb because as you’ve stated this site is “A website dedicated to human stupidity and dumbness”. What about “The purpose of the website as the writers created it, is to praise human accomplishment and to mock human non-accomplishment”. When you mock so well and praise so poorly its just hard to take you seriously. Your criticisms are so biased and one sided that it seems like you are making up quotes. Have you ever heard of an argumentative essay? No? I didn’t think so. Am I trying to give you tips? No… you idiot.
So what am I trying to say? Well, Mr. Damien, the glory days of January 2011 where you had 159 articles are over. Welcome to the present (April 2015), when you can’t even remember the last time your site pushed 10 articles, oh wait… September 2013. This saddens me as it will mean less views for this comment. I can only take this decline in posts to mean that you’ve finally made a real accomplishment and found yourself something productive to do, such as a financially stable job, or perhaps a family. May I suggest a condom? If it’s too late, perhaps you can try dropping them off at an orphanage, or a farm. Seriously, anywhere else is better.
Well, I’m done, I guess in a few ways I’m not too different than you, an Internet Warrior, a Web Vigilante, our superpower is to make others feel like shit for no reason. Oh, there is one difference, I make a point.
Dear Damien,
Please accept this submission for The Damien Zone, I feel its content and style will be to your liking as I’ve attempted to model it after your own works.
Go fuck yourself, Probably a Fucktard, the extent of Damien’s Vocabulary
P.S. I’m sure you will e-mail me cuz that’s the type of guy you are. Well my e-mail damienzonesucks@hotmail.com isn’t my real e-mail so go ahead.
P.P.S. I’m not sure how you backtrack the IP addresses of the people who post on your site but that’s creepy and your posting their location online for everyone else to see is possibly illegal and definitely childish. Anyways, I live in Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada, come find me… bitch.
From one writer to another (self acknowledged writer)
Bravo! I am torn between answering this angry-for-no-reason bomb, or ignoring it altogether — but you know me. I can’t let anything just run off my back. I am too thin-skinned and far too self-important to ignore a few salient points, right?
Allow me to first address your issue with what appears to be my diminishing productivity with regards to the amount of posts I write per month.
You might note that some of my more recent entries are far less silly than most of my past stuff. When I first started writing this blog, I never expected for it to rein in the huge audience it has today.
I also noted that most of my socially provocative and “real” entries seemed to legitimize my work and if that many people were reading and coming back to read again, perhaps it was time to say what I had to say and let the “dumbness” come from the comments. That strategy seems to be working for the most part.
Sadly, most of the venom hurled at me comes in the form of hate email. I get piles of it because true haters know enough not to comment publicly. But even so, haters and lovers and everyone in between, all deserve a good blog entry every now and then.
I never intended for that to happen, but it has.
I flatter myself — as humbly as I might – by saying that perhaps my talent was indeed appreciated for its humor as well as for its message AND people were interested in what I had to say. I am, for all intents and purposes, an actual, writer. Notwithstanding my “for real” professional credentials as a writer — yes I have a real job — this blog proves that I write interesting, or somewhat interesting things even when I goof off. What can I say? I can’t say, “Awwww shucks,” without feeling a bit like a fraud. The numbers stare me in the face. I write, they read — and they read alot. I must be doing something right, right?
Secondly, the reason I write less is that I already have a super-saturated library of blog entries pushing me up the ladder of Google. When you are not in it for the money — which I am not — you reach a point where you reel in more and more NEW readers with old stuff via Google searches.
I have more readers now than I ever had despite so few articles. Eventually I will pick up the pace, but for now it’s enough for me to find good stories about which to write more carefully, than it is for me to stick to my “16-minutes per blog” rule wherein I just sit down and tap out something right off the top of my head. I might be making a huge mistake, but it’s a chance I will take. If I see that my readers prefer dopey things, I’ll go back to it.
I do not look up IP addresses anymore. It’s not amusing and it’s a pain in the ass. There was a time when someone would get all ritzy and uppity with me and it was fun to find out that they lived in Fuktard City. Now, I don’t care. I am soooooo used to the same old things like, “Your (sic) pathetic” – “Your (sic) off your meds” – “You live in your mom’s basement” — “Your (sic) an unhappy little man” — and if you are a blogger with any appreciable amount of traffic, you get this kind of same old-same old stuff too. Your comment is ample testament to that. Also, do you know how many people use the email address “DamienZoneSucks@ etc? It gets real dull after 5 years.
My question to you is this — What did I write that pissed you off so much? I’d really like to know.
interesting website
Clickbait site run by a bunch of jagoffs. You’re better off reading The Onion. At least they’re funny sometimes.
Clickbait? The site isn’t monetized, you fucking moron.
Accidentally, found your site trying to disprove that talking porcupine lunacy. My sister, who can be one of those “oh watch this” fools, pulled up the video about the porcupine for my daughter. So master Google brought up your site, the line that hooked me was “the same sound that Vietnamese people make”.
If people really can’t see this is a more modern high brow humor, let theme be as they have no chance outside of scoring anything other than Facebook likes.
Helped me laugh through a boring, painful family get together, which is still going on, quick I need to finish this and get back to reading.
Thanks
Accidentally, found your site trying to disprove that talking porcupine lunacy. My sister, who can be one of those “oh watch this” fools, pulled up the video about the porcupine for my daughter. So master Google brought up your site, the line that hooked me was “the same sound that Vietnamese people make”.
If people really can’t see this is a more modern high brow humor, let them be as they have no chance outside of scoring anything other than Facebook likes.
Helped me laugh through a boring, painful family get together, which is still going on, quick I need to finish this and get back to reading.
Thanks
Darius — If I had a Grand Prize — you would win it ! Thank you for noticing my comedic skills. 🙂