“Alternative medicine is another way of saying bullshit medicine. It’s a way to get gullible people to give you money when they are not sick and a way to get them to give you even more money when they are deathly sick. Dr. Oz threw his Hippocratic oath into the wind when he started going on TV to turn a buck — he is — how you say in English — an asshole.” [David D. Mattia writing for The Damien Zone]
When are people going to realize that Dr. Oz is a an asshole and that he only says the stupid shit he says because he is a reality show doctor?
Oz is so full of shit, and after so many years of spewing his brand of holistic and alternative bullshit, he might possibly have forgotten how to actually practice actual medicine. Maybe he had to go on TV because he sucked as a real life doctor. That’s very possible.
Dr. Oz — who should be living in the land of Oz — is now trying to scare the world into not drinking apple juice and in doing so he has pissed a lot of people off — including his own peers who think that what he is spouting now about apple juice is rotten to the core.
Wednesday, on his simpleton-oriented Fox side-show, Dr. Oz announced that testing by a New Jersey lab had found what he suggested were troubling levels of arsenic in many brands of juice. Mind you, this show is only watched by the uber-gullible — the kind of people who think that Stedman Graham is really Oprah’s boyfriend and that Gayle King is their mutual good friend.
The Food and Drug Administration, however, said its own tests show no such thing, even on one of the same juice batches Oz cited. Naturally, Oz is playing the evil US Government card here — and you’d be surprised how much money any loon can make by doing that,
“There is no evidence of any public health risk from drinking these juices. And FDA has been testing them for years,” the FDA said in a statement.
The flap escalated Thursday, when Oz’s former medical school classmate Dr. Richard Besser lambasted him on ABC’s “Good Morning America” show for what Besser called an “extremely irresponsible” report that was akin to “yelling ‘Fire!’ in a movie theater.”
I have been saying and writing for years that Dr. Oz is an asshole — Dr. Phil is an asshole — JJ Virgin is an asshole — Dr Steven (face Cream) Feder is an asshole — the two women dermatologist who hawk that bullshit acne medicine are assholes — Dr. Chauncey Crandall and his “signs of a heart attack infomercial” is an asshole — but nobody seems to care. The cable networks have to fill those wee hours of the morning with shit sales pitch shows and they don’t care if you die because you treated your breast cancer with shitakke mushrooms instead of real medicine.
This latest apple juice thing was not brought out because Oz cares about you and arsenic or you and your apple juice — he cares that this made the headlines and because off of those headlines he will make more money. He would tell you that apples dipped in warm dog shit were good for you if he gets a higher rating during sweeps week or sells more books. This is shamelessness reaching beyond the pale.
Here is what you should do to solve the problems of your life:
Mix 2 parts apple juice, with 2 parts of Dr. Steven (Facelift) Feder’s Stem Cell Therapy Face cream, with a bunch of juice from a JackLaLanne juicer, bring it to your psychologist’s office but first make sure that the psychologist is not really a psychologist. Then, mix it all with that acne medicine they advertise all night on TV —
—the one where you use a credit card to get one order but then they keep renewing the order every month without telling you that you have to cancel the order but you really can’t cancel and you end up owing them $2,000 and your kid’s face is no better than if you used the Walmart brand of the same chemical — whew!
— and then go on a JJ Virgin “macrobiotic” (fake word) diet. After you have done all of that, go out and throw yourself under a bus because if you believe ANY of the shit the aforementioned medicine sideshow people tell you, you do not deserve to live.
HERE IS THE RULE!!!! If you see or hear or watch or eat or drink or read ANYTHING ANYONE spawned from the Oprah Winfrey Show — AND you believe in it or them — odds are that you are a gullible idiot. The only people who believe in Oprah’s progeny are simpletons — don’t be one.
