“It’s sumpin’ dat I been doin’ for years and now that I am a success in the music business and shit, I want to express myself in art and design,” said the controversial rap singer from the playroom at Miss Betty’s Daytime School where he has taken some summer courses.
“I like macaroni clocks and I am currently in like, uh, negotiations with Ikea and The Great Indoors about designing and selling my own line of these here macaroni clocks. I also plan to accessorize my new-ass business, you see what I am sayin, with paper plates and glues and all kinds of macaroni. Right now my favorite design is one I made with ziti, but I have one in the works with rigatoni and penne pasta and that has a really modern feel.”
Miss Betty (Oliver), owner and head mistress at the Miss Betty Daytime School is proud of Kanye’s progress.
“Kanye is not only my most creative student, he is also my biggest troublemaker,” laughed the old spinster. “Last year when I won the Arts and Crafts Teacher of the Year Award, he came up on stage and took the award away from me and said that little Keesha Johnson deserved it more for the snowman she made out of stale bagels and marshmallows. We all had a good laugh about that in the teacher’s lounge.”
“I really think that Kanye has a future in making macaroni clocks,” continues Miss Betty. “He is by far my brightest pupil and this year he will recite the 2 times table at the annual holiday gala.”
Kanye was proud of what Miss Betty had to say.
“She’s my favorite teacher, you see what I’m sayin, and she like believed in me and shit when nobody else did. She taught me how to use paste and Elmer’s glue. She even taught me that ziti can string together if you use linguini like a thread. I am going to make a square macaroni clock and use that idea cause it’s metaphysical and what not.”
Looks like home decorating stores have something to look forward to this year and if Kanye West keeps up at his current pace, there is no telling how many different varieties of macaroni clocks he will put out on the market.
“I’m going to make a big one for the White House and shit,” said the beaming west from his desk at Miss Betty’s school. “I know that President Obama will be proud of me and shit.
I’ve heard that George W. Bush hates macaroni clocks. Another reason why Kanye is designing them. And shit.
George Bush hates macaroni clocks — that’s right!