Stupid producers decide to ruin “House.” Dr. House marries Cuddy and they adopt Joey Lawrence.

“Basically we are uncreative people who siphon the talent from writers and actors,” said untalented producer Lukas Falalalater.   “House was a great show that somebody else created but of course after a few years us producers who have no artistic talent whatsoever  make the decision in our stupid heads that this show takes place in real life and we have to do stupid things because, like I said, we are uncreative and stupid people who have, for some unknown reason, decided what should be seen by the viewing public.”

Takerman was talking about the new season of “House” which is going the route that all shows go after they have been on too long.  House is going to marry Cuddy and they are going to adopt a hip young street kid “Bucky” who will be played by Joey Lawrence.  Even though Joey has never even been to high school he will be found to be an idiot savant who can transplant hearts without even needing a donor.  They will spin this off in 2012 as show called “Bucky House MD.”

“Niles married Daphne on Frasier and ruined the show,” said an angry actor from the USA Network show who refused to talk on the record.  “John Stamos had to marry that stupid girl on Full House and for the next few seasons we were stuck with his imaginary family.  Ted Danson had to marry what’s her name and then Kelsey Grammer married her — and where is what’s her name now anyway?  Now Greg House is going to marry Dr. Cuddy.  Don’t they fucking realize that the conflict between the two characters is what makes the show work?”

Sorry, undisclosed actor, but they do not understand that.  Aside from a few shows over the past 20 years, Prime Time TV is written on a level that suits 4th or 5th graders, and the fact that after 90 years of filmed media, people are still fascinated by shows about doctors and cops is ample testament to that, but rather than try to hoist up the American collective consciousness like they do in Europe, the people behind TV and motion pictures keep doing the same stupid shit over and over.

Of course you can tune over to Nat Geo or History or Discovery but they have gotten so bold that they now air commercials in blocks of up to 6 minutes.  Also the shows are heavily edited fakes that either glorify the lives of people who abuse animals or people who try to protect animals.  If you’re a real moron you can watch shows about “Bounty Hunters” or antique collectors. 

So either this is a teaser season opener or “House” is ruined.   We guess that it was too hard to take a cue from “Monk” — he never changed and he never married Natalie or Sharona.  This is so fucking stupid!   Whoever is behind this stupid thing sucks big time meat!  But thank God they got that great actor Joey Lawrence.  Maybe he’ll make the whole thing work.

BTW.  Lisa Edelstein is the best actor on the show.  Hugh Laurie is the biggest one note Samba in the history of TV.  They say his character doesn’t show emotion.  We think the actor can’t show emotion and they write around that — but nobody ever gave us any Emmy’s so run with that.

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