Activia yogurt might contain bacteria that help your digestion, but when “actress” Jamie Lee Curtis, the yogurt’s TV spokesperson ate too much, “she” shit her pants at The Golden Globe Awards. Since that night “she” has consistently shit “her” pants every day, and the “actress” is blaming the problemon Activia.
“I was not really having any trouble with my bowels,” said the 51 year old “actress” from “her” home in BelAir, California. “The company gave me so much Activia that I just kept eating it. Now the shit just falls out of my ass. I feel like I’m a bird.”
Curtis does indeed take this “feel like a bird” thing very seriously and while “she” is busy suing the makers of Activia, “she” is also busy having windshields installed in all seven of the bathrooms in “her” mansion.
“I am redesigning my home to fit my shitting problem,” said Jamie Lee. “If I am going to shit like a bird, I might as well shit on a windshield. My “kids” think it’s fun and we do it like it’s abstract art. The best shit designs are created when I stand five feet away from the windshield after eating a cup of rasberry Activia and a cup of blueberry Activia. The patterns are fun and my “kids” love the excitement. It’s all natural too, but I still have to sue the people who make it because most of the time I shit my pants.”