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Astrologer picks winning Powerball numbers. TheDamienZone.com

 “God gave me a gift but I will never use that gift for profit or gain lest I burn in hell as a sorcerer.”    Countess Maria DeRenzatto after being told that the numbers she predicted for Capricorns were the winning numbers in a recent multimillion dollar lottery drawing. [Countess DeRenzatto].    Astrologer, A Reclusive Countess in exile, picks winning Powerball numbers. TheDamienZone.com An Italian Countess who lives quietly in a small, New Jersey apartment, publicly predicted the winning Powerball numbers for Capricorners

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Marilyn Monroe to be exhumed and remains taken to museum.

Marilyn Monroe’s estate is quickly running out of money according to a source close to her finances.  In order to keep the money flowing, the grave of Marilyn Monroe will be opened next year and her remains will be put on display in a glass box that will tour the world. “Marilyn Monroe was an autopsy case, ” said master embalmer Johann Bellis of the Society For Mortuary and Funereal Understanding.  “An autopsied body, even though it has been embalmed,

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Friends fear: “Juliette Lewis stayed mildly retarded after filming “THE OTHER SISTER.”

“She used to be a bright girl — so full of knowledge,” said a source close to What’s Eating Gilbert Grape and The Other Sister star and former gal pal to Brad Pitt Juliette Lewis. “After she played the retarded girl in that movie The Other Sister she kind of…well she kind of stayed retarded.  You could tell by the look in her eyes.  It was kind of vacant.  She didn’t look like that before and I think that’s why

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Doctors Fear: “Brett Favre needs stem cells to stop accelerated old-aging process.” Arsenio Hall offers hope.

“At his current rate of aging, we feel that Mr. Favre will be at least 90 years old by this time next year.”  said Dr. Hermet LaJeunesse of the American College of Aging and Maturation in Newark, New Jersey USA.  “We might have to use the entire $100 million dollar grant that was given to the city of Newark by the guy who invented that social networking site that is really a scam for identity theft and is rumored to

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GOD DECLARES: “Zsa Zsa Gabor’s Last Rites have expired and her husband is going to Hell.”

“When you die, you get a thing that’s kind of like a Last Rites inspection sticker,” said John Hightower, a hippy kind of a guy who almost died of an acid overdose at Woodstock in 1969 and who says he works for God and also moonlights for the Holy Spirit on weekends.   “Man, Zsa Zsa Gabor got the Last Rites like years ago, so if she dies she has to get them again because her sticker is totally expired.” As TheDamienZone.com readers

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TV CHEF LYDIA BASTIANICH SAYS, “BRENDAN FRASER AND ELENA KAGAN WERE SEPERATED AS CHILDREN.”

WHOEVER SAID THAT A HAIR TRANSPLANT LOOKS LIKE ROWS OF CORN didn’t ever conjure up the notion that someday a hair transplant would rejoin a long lost pair of siblings.  Such is the case with actor Brendan Fraser and that Supreme Court thingy Elena Kagan. “As I was doing the transplant on Brendan Fraser I started to notice something strange,” said Dr. Bosley Beasley of the Bosley Hair Transplant and Second Mortgage Clinic.  “The more hair I added to the

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NUTRACEUTICAL and MACROBIOTIC are fake words. The unhappy truth about JJ VIRGIN, her qualifications, and the fraud that is called “Holistic Medicine.”

Don’t be scammed by people like JJ Virgin. If you have cancer you need to eat, and if you have terminal cancer, you need to eat whatever you want and as much of it as you want. There are no such things as a nutraceutical or macrobiotric diets. They are scams.

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Australia’s Ousted Prime MinisterJulia Gillard – Atheist – A dingo ate my deity!

Australia’s former Prime Minister — and douche bag– was an Atheist — who gives a shit!  Here’s a pic I made when she became the Primie Minister.

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