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Joey Lawrence of “Melissa and Joey” sprays on a fake shaved hairline.

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“The makeup people carefully draw in Joey’s hairline dot by dot,” said a source close to the makeup department on the set of ABC Family’s new sitcom “Melissa and Joey.”  “They carefully recreate the illusion that Mr. Lawrence has a thick hairline that has been shaved.  The problem is that from day to day they are not able to exactly duplicate the exact position of the fake shaved hairline and instead Joey ends up with a scalped vampire look.  When I see Mr. Lawrence after […]

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GOD DECLARES: “Zsa Zsa Gabor’s Last Rites have expired and her husband is going to Hell.”

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“When you die, you get a thing that’s kind of like a Last Rites inspection sticker,” said John Hightower, a hippy kind of a guy who almost died of an acid overdose at Woodstock in 1969 and who says he works for God and also moonlights for the Holy Spirit on weekends.   “Man, Zsa Zsa Gabor got the Last Rites like years ago, so if she dies she has to get them again because her sticker is totally expired.” As TheDamienZone.com readers […]

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NUTRACEUTICAL and MACROBIOTIC are fake words. The unhappy truth about JJ VIRGIN, her qualifications, and the fraud that is called “Holistic Medicine.”

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Don’t be scammed by people like JJ Virgin. If you have cancer you need to eat, and if you have terminal cancer, you need to eat whatever you want and as much of it as you want. There are no such things as a nutraceutical or macrobiotric diets. They are scams.

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Australia’s Ousted Prime MinisterJulia Gillard – Atheist – A dingo ate my deity!

When Julia Gillard became Australia's first female prime minister last week she quickly earned international headlines cause she's an atheist.

Australia’s former Prime Minister — and douche bag– was an Atheist — who gives a shit!  Here’s a pic I made when she became the Primie Minister.

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And They’re OFF! To The Slaughterhouse!

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“Casinos like to kill people’s dreams and credit scores, not their horses.” [ D.  Mattia  <– Racehorse trainer and TV writer. ] You can forget about global warming and climate change and baby seals for a few moments and dedicate your time to reading about the annoyances of horse racing. They call it “The Sport Of Kings” when in fact it should be called the sport of mindless carnival people who have somehow managed to sneak into polite society whilst breeding the best […]

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What is Voodoo? Should I be afraid of Voodoo?

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PICTURED:  Saint-Claire-Ayizan, an example of a Voodoo Lwa or Loa.  She is believed to be spiritually present only at Voodoo initiation rituals and rarely makes herself available for anything else.  She is rather aloof.   Good for her. You know what gets a bad rap? Haitian Voodoo — and that’s not fair. Voodoo, in it’s true form, is a complex combo of Roman Catholic and ancient African tribal beliefs. It is an interesting religion and a rather  sensible one too. Voodoo […]

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