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Featured Politics

Psychiatrist Claims: “The Onion Sucks. Only Left-Wing Misfits Read It.”

“Your average Onion reader is usually a social misfit and a liberal son of a bitch with no fucking brain,”  said a furious Dr.  Dean Traherne, the outrageously outspoken Vegas Psychiatrist who owns and operates Trent Institute For Social Outcasts and Misfits in Las Vegas, Nevada, USA. “They’re usually people who enjoy shocking others by talking about their Atheism and being all proud that they are godless — they are fucktards.   I have parents from all over the country who are trying to

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Robert De Niro is an Asshole.

Robert DeNiro is an asshole — at least that’s what a lot of people think.  I guess playing a gangster too many times has gone to his head. NOTE: PIcture of DeNiro pushing around a Hollywood writer who called him an asshole to his face – D D. Matt Gets shoved and pushed by De Niro   <—Click here.  He’s trying really hard to make his public persona so different from his on-film persona that he has gone over the edge. “He might really

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Doctors Fear: “Brett Favre needs stem cells to stop accelerated old-aging process.” Arsenio Hall offers hope.

“At his current rate of aging, we feel that Mr. Favre will be at least 90 years old by this time next year.”  said Dr. Hermet LaJeunesse of the American College of Aging and Maturation in Newark, New Jersey USA.  “We might have to use the entire $100 million dollar grant that was given to the city of Newark by the guy who invented that social networking site that is really a scam for identity theft and is rumored to

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JOYCE RANDOLPH – Candidate for 2016.

Joyce Randolph, known to TV lovers as Trixie Norton, the always patient wife of Ed Norton ( Art Carney) on the iconic TV show “THE HONEYMOONERS” has announced that she is throwing her hat into the ring for a run at the US Presidency in 2016. Randolph, 89, is not letting her advanced years get in the way. “I have been around and worked my way through a lot of things,”  said the still youthful actress.  “I have suffered through the Great

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Marilyn Monroe regrets that she can’t sing “Happy Birthday” to President Obama today.

The overhyped in death, sorta-slutty drug addicted Marilyn Monroe would have been 84 years old last June had she not had the misfortune of hanging around with the Kennedys and self-proclaimed acting coach guru Lee Strasberg.   Now there is nobody left to sing a breathy Happy Birthday to President Obama today — his 50th birthday.  Some people thought it was undignified of Obama to appear on “The View” but what could have been less dignified than having that train-wreck Marilym Monroe singing

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HONEYMOONERS STAR JOYCE RANDOLPH ANNOUNCES BID FOR PRESIDENCY IN 2014.

Joyce Randolph, known to TV lovers as Trixie Norton, the always patient wife of Ed Norton ( Art Carney) on the iconic TV show “THE HONEYMOONERS” has announced that she is throwing her hat into the ring for a run at the US Presidency in 2014. Randolph, 89, is not letting her advanced years get in the way. “I have been around and worked my way through a lot of things,”  said the still youthful actress.  “I have suffered through the Great

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Australia’s Ousted Prime MinisterJulia Gillard – Atheist – A dingo ate my deity!

Australia’s former Prime Minister — and douche bag– was an Atheist — who gives a shit!  Here’s a pic I made when she became the Primie Minister.

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And They’re OFF! To The Slaughterhouse!

“Casinos like to kill people’s dreams and credit scores, not their horses.” [ D.  Mattia  <– Racehorse trainer and TV writer. ] You can forget about global warming and climate change and baby seals for a few moments and dedicate your time to reading about the annoyances of horse racing. They call it “The Sport Of Kings” when in fact it should be called the sport of mindless carnival people who have somehow managed to sneak into polite society whilst breeding the best

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