The community of FACEBOOK SIMPLETONS — a rather new and distinct underprivileged ethnic group — is at it again. This time it’s another fake “no tip for you” receipt from a soldier who wrote that his tip would be zero because, in his perfectly scrawled words he stated: “My tip is the freedoms I provided you while serving my country.”
Buchanan was a bachelor for life, and while living in the White House, his niece was appointed as Official Hostess.
Officially, President Buchanan’s fiancee, Ann Coleman,died from grief back in 1819 when James spent more time working at his law firm than courting his devoted — but delicate — betrothed. Ann’s death was Buchanan’s handy excuse for never again courting or seeking to marry any woman, but he did like to “busy his mouth” with woodies.
Doctor’s reports suggest that Ann Coleman died from a broken heart, but recent revelations suggest that she actually offed herself with a bottle of Laudenam (morphine, opium, codeine and alcohol) when she found out that her beloved James was enjoying the company of young muscle men from carnivals and circuses.
The recent discovery of a diary belonging to Ann Coleman’s closest friend, Anastasia Hemphill, has changed the face of that story forever.
“Our dearest Ann was at the time overcome with revulsion when she came upon Mister Buchanan lying nude in a guestroom aloft with Kelvin Osford who was at the time a massive strongman with a traveling carnival. Both men were in a state of tumescence and James was busying his mouth on the manhood of the vulgar and sweaty behemoth. I will go to my grave knowing that the sight of this horrific depravity led Ann to betray her truest Faith and she preferred instead to leave the Earth with the greatest of expedience.” [Anastasia Hemphill (beloved friend) 1821.]
A subsequent really bitchy letter to Anastasia from a man named Kelvin Osford was found folded inside of this page. The letter was written by a Dr. Chapman (proxy) at the behest of Kevin Osford who was, “unschooled and of simple mind and unable to write even the simplest letter or salutation for himself.”
“Warmest regards to you, Miss Hemphill.
“As it would not be socially fitting to present myself in your exemplary company, I share your sorrow on the loss of a lovely young lady and eternal friend, but perhaps you can find solace in the fact that James is sick of mind and uncaring. He would have been an atrocity as as husband to even the lowest grade of woman.
“Buchanan lives only to be enthralled with the muscles of large and burly men and acts of sodomy.
“Yes, I was engaged in an unspeakable act when it was discovered by Miss Coleman, but I am only one of many young men who have been well paid by Mister Buchanan to engage in unspeakable acts.
“I have developed my body with heavy weights and stones and now at age twenty-two I too am caught in the web of decadence and debauchery that is the wont of Mister Buchanan and several of his male companions who worship me as a Greek statue and hand me subsequent sums of money and food stocks.
“I oblige you and seek forgiveness on the loss of your friend. Please be mindful of the sad fact that I engage in deviant behavior with gentlemen only because my mother in Salem is sick with a cancer on the skin and her financial situation is poor at best. I know that this decrepit copulation with other men is entirely unnatural, but I am caught in a web of sin and deceit and self hatred.
“Please find comfort in the knowledge that a marriage joining Mister Buchanan and the dearly departed Miss Coleman would have had a most grievous endurance. I beg your forgiveness and the forgiveness of our Lord.” [Kelvin Osford – as told to Dr. N. Chapman]
So — according to the close friend of President Buchanan’s fiancee, and the bodybuilder he fancied — Old James liked ‘em big and burly and muscular and dumb. Seems this guy Kelvin Osford had all of that and more. By the way “tumescence” means engorged, In other words, she found them naked with woodies and BuchanaN was blowing Osford. (Busying his mouth).
It’s safe to assume that James’ woody was smaller than Osford’s because other letters exchanged between “Nancy” men of the same era and area often make mention of the large size of Osford’s “tumesence” and his muscles. It seems that Osford was the hot ticket male “companion” of his day, and in higher class circles, the behavior of the men who fancied him was ignored to some extent.
In light of the recent life changes announced by Antoine — a guy with quirky talent who got lucky when somebody broke into his apartment in the projects — you would think people — especially gay people — would be more discerning about the people they “share” on Facebook — but they are not discerning.
They’re morons just like their heterosexual counterparts who live only to “share” without concern or forethought. That is the nature of the Facebook Simpleton regardless of sexual orientation.
FOLKS! Antoine Dodson is no longer gay — he says so himself — where is the outrage? Antoine believes living a homosexual “lifestyle” is wrong and anti-religious. Don’t you morons know that about him? Do you ever read a frigging news story or even pick up a cheap magazine? I am happy for Antoine that he is no longer hunting for a paycheck, but how dumb are some people — really?
I am not hating on Antoine Dodson because he was a low income, gay African-American who lived in the projects and then became famous. I am angry at the LGBT community for not knowing that he has angrily and religiously ditched them in favour of chicks and babes — so he says.
The gays who don’t read or don’t care still love him, and it makes no sense whatsoever. His Facebook page has over 1,000,000 followers — ahhhh — but maybe that’s the key to Antoine’s recent transformation? There are less than 20 million gay people in the USA and success with the gay crowd is nowhere near as lucrative as it is with the Christian straight crowd.
Okay, I get it now. Using Jesus for money — nothing new about that. Is Antoine doing that or has he had some kind of weird revelation? I don’t know. That’s his business, but the sad truth is that nobody has bothered to learn about the new Antoine Dodson. Therein lies the stupidity of certain people, and that is why we write this blog, right? We write to expose stupidity and dumbness when and wherever it might occur.
The Simpletons of Facebook — which is just about everyone who has an account on Facebook — embraced Antoine when he became an overnight sensation via his viral video, and in spite of his recent admissions and admonitions against gaiety, he is still popular — especially in the gay male community where one would expect him to be vilified, but in order to know the more recent truth about Antoine Dodson, at least one gay guy would have to read or learn or study — something the average Facebook Simpleton is unable to do with any degree of non-stupidity.
Let’s start from the beginning.
A few years ago, someone broke into Antoine’s home in the low income projects of the Lincoln Park Housing Project in Huntsville, Alabama, USA, and climbed into bed with his sister.
Antoine’s sister bravely stated that the intruder tried to rape her, and when she was interviewed on local TV about that incident, Antoine chimed in with his diatribe against the intruder. It was concise and comical — so comical in fact that some enterprising young musicians took his TV interview and put it to an AUTO-TUNE music video which went viral.
Do you know it?
“Hide your kids, hide your wife, hide your kids, hide your wife, and hide your husbands because they’re raping everybody out here. You don’t have to come and confess. We’re looking for you. We gonna find you, we gonna find you. So you can run and tell that, run and tell that, home boy, home boy….etc.”
So Antoine became an overnight sensation with his auto-tuned “Hide your kids, Hide Your Wife” viral video musical, and Antoine was openly gay — very flamboyant and funny and engaging — and but now he is singing a different tune.
Seems the former Miss Thing Dodson, has prayed away the gay and gone religiously freaky. Doesn’t anyone know this about him? Do the simpletons of Facebook only look for homophobia in the American GOP or on CBN? Antoine himself sounds awfully homophobic, and he has renounced his faith in Judy Garland, and for most gay men that’s grounds for excommunication.
Antoine Dodson announced recently that he was straight at the same time he proclaimed himself to be the ‘True Chosen Hebrew Israelite descendant of Judah’ on Facebook. He is now expecting a child with a woman he calls “his queen.” This is a far cry from the queens Antoine used to impregnate — in a manner of speaking.
Dodson stated, “I have to renounce myself, I’m no longer into homosexuality I want a wife and family, I want to multiply and raise and love my family that I create,”
This was mild when compared to some of the things Dodson has said since claiming to have made the switch from dicks to chicks.
“The Bible states against it (homosexuality).” “I am not praying away the gay. You can just lift it. If you want to change your life you can.” “I’m trying to move away from being gay and become a better person.” “Back then I was dumb. I didn’t know the Bible, I didn’t read the Bible like I should have done.”
It gets even more in your face, folks, but I don’t have the time. The truth is that Antoine used the money he made to get his ass out of the projects and into a nice home in Los Angeles where he now proclaims a to be a chosen Hebrew Israelite.
Yeah, so to all of you morons out there in Facebook land, be mindful of the person you are helping to make wealthy. Personally, I don’t care if Antoine is gay or straight or just plain stupid — which he seems to be — but really, how could so many people not know the truth about the new Antoine Dodson?
Like Antoine Dodson himself said when he addressed the news camera and the American public: “You are really dumb. You are so dumb. Fer real! “