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Hollywood

Sean Penn – Asshole – Cleaning The Poop For Hugo Chavez.

Living with cancer has pushed Venezuela’s fiery President Hugo Chavez to change his habits and diet, his governing style and even his outlook on life.   He has his good days and his bad days, but now his animosity towards the USA manifests only when he forces Sean Penn to change his bed pan because another blast of shit is about to come out of his smelly Venezuelan asshole. “Sean likes changing Hugo’s bedpan and diapers,” said a wealthy Hollywood plastic surgeon who

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Facebook Versus Shagbook. Exhumation creates “Zuckerberg Bolger”

Kids, this is why you should never dig up dead bodies. Facebook Versus Shagbook.  Exhumation creates “Zuckerberg Bolger”  The new Face behind Facebook.  by: TheDamienZone.com Oh man, this sucks but Facebook, is using Ray Bolger’s exhumed body to sue a dating site called Shagbook for trademark infringement because, in their Zombie “we-wanna-take-over-the-world opinion”  Shagbook sounds too much like Facebook.  Huh?   It’s so confusing that I don’t even know where to start.  It’s a story about a guy who played the scarecrow in the Wizard Of

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Jerry Lewis Kicked Off Telethon — Muscular Dystrophy Back To Being An Obscure Disease.

There is nothing more cheap and disgusting than the new guard of young execs at the Muscular Dystrophy Association.  These guys make nice salaries but they’re making a huge mistake by trying to literally change the face of a disease, which for all intents and purposes did not exist in the public consciousness until Jerry Lewis brought it into American living rooms.   The new guys don’t like Jerry and they don’t like the brand he has stamped on his pet charity.  

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Matt Damon — A Mentally Retarded Genius.

Semi-retarded actor and full blown asshole, Matt Damon , is making great strides at his new special school and recently he even voiced his opinions about the economy.  He even went so far as to get angry at a reporter who asked him a question about teachers and tenure. Not yet ready to face a world full of non retarded people, Damon was accompanied by his dutiful mom who has sacrificed so much so as to ensure that her mentally

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Will GLEE Be Cancelled? Auditions Underway For New Cast Just In Case?

OMG!  The smash TV mega-hit show GLEE will be cancelled for the 2012 season according to sources close to the show.  Insiders say that the last show will be aired Christmas week of 2011 and that plans are underway to film that episode on October 23rd, 2011. “The cast wants too much money to go into 2012,” said Sheldon Hartunis, a source who, along with his elderly mother Delia, are stunt coordinators for various TV shows. “Usually a network will sign a

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JOEY LAWRENCE – FREE HAIR TRANSPLANTS FOR US SOCCER TEAM AND NEW COACH.

For years TV viewers have known Joey Lawrence as the cute little kid who grew up to be a teen heart-throb.  Then he started pumping iron and shaving his chest and became a sex symbol.  Then he shaved his badly balding head and sprayed on light brown speckles and looked like a psychopath.  Then he let his transplants grow in and looks semi normal again except for his weird plucked eyebrows and overly pumped, fake tanned, and shaved body.     His show

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Kelly Osbourne, Amy Winehouse — The Last Phone Call?

Ferociously ugly,  incredibly untalented, unapologetically intrusive and grossly uninteresting Kelly Osbourne is running around telling everyone who will listen to her that Amy Winehouse called her the night the singer died and that the two spoke for over an hour. Osbourne even had the pushy audacity to post a picture of herself and Winehouse on Twitter on Saturday, saying, “I miss my friend! Im going to be off twitter for a while thank you for all your support! #pray4amy.” <– Can you just hurl or what?

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Our Own Amy Winehouse Autopsy Report.

AMY WINEHOUSE — AGE 27 — CAUCASIAN FEMALE Height:  5 Feet 4 Inches Weight:  82 pounds. Internal organs:  Heart enlarged, Lungs all full of crack smoke and debris, kidneys ruined, liver was not found. Toxicology: Heroin — 500% higher than the lethal does Cocaine — 900% higher than the lethal dose Valium, Klonopin, Ativan, Dalmane, Tranxene, Restoril — all over 1000% lethal dose Morphine Derivitives:  Too many to mention and all far above lethal doses. AMY WINEHOSE IS DEAD AND

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