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Rumor: Chaz Bono will be voted off Dancing With The Stars tonight!

He/She has stopped bringing in the ratings like he/she did a few weeks ago and the rumor about town is that Chaz Bono will be voted off Dancing With The Stars either tonight or next week. There seems to have been some kind of balance between the Chaz curiosity factor and the leanings of the religious right.  “Initially she brought in a lot of viewers,” said ratings consultant, Dr. Sheldon Hartinus.  “But now that her big media push is over

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All The Fake Facebook People And Their Fake Steve Jobs Tributes.

“The death of Steve Jobs has put those annoying and overly maudlin Facebook status updates and page shares into over-drive.  Everyone on Facebook is trying to out-do everyone else with their tributes — and half of the time, these Facebookers don’t even know who Steve Jobs was.    These people should make a facebook page for Steve Jobs’ casket — a page where they can throw pictures of themselves on it.”  [Dr. Benjamin Switchy, author of “The Maudlin Face of Facebook.”]   Okay!   We get it. 

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Betty White Facebook Hoax About Balls And Vaginas.

UPDATE FROM BETTY HERSELF:  My Dear Damien, Thank you so much for trying to get rid of this silly prank on my behalf.  I can’t say that I am angry at my many wonderful fans for distributing the story, but I am disturbed – because of its content – that it has become such a sensation and attributed to me.  Of course I enjoy a blue joke as much as the next person, but this one goes just a bit beyond where

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Janeane Garafalo Is An Asshole – or – The Rise of the Misfit Gene in Human DNA.

“When I see the American flag, I go, ‘Oh, my god, you’re insulting me.’ That you can have a gay pride parade on Christopher Street in New York, with naked men and women on a float, cheering, ‘We’re here and we’re queer!’ – that’s what makes my heart swell. Not the flag, but a gay naked man or woman burning the flag. I get choked up with pride.”  [Janeane Garafalo]      Yes, she said the opening quote at the top

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Ricky Gervais Back on Twitter – who cares?

After having spent all of about 25 days on Twitter earlier in the year, Ricky Gervais quit the stupid thing and called it “undignified” for adults and suspecting that celebrities just seemed to be showing off by tweeting with their other famous friends. If he wanted to tell his celebrity buddies about what he ate for breakfast, he’d just text them, Gervais said.  In reality he has no celebrity friends and this is a just another desperate plea for attention from the unfunny,

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Heather Locklear — Plastic Surgery Birthday — Really 60-years-old?

Hollywood tabloid rags are running around talking about how young Heather Locklear looks for her age because today is her birthday — but she is not 50 like all the tabloids and websites claim — she is actually 60-years-old and she used to be a huncback in an orphanage. “Heather is 60 years old today because we were both borned (sic) in the same orphanage in Mustique, Alabama,” said Harlean Carp-Running Coon who now lives in Ruggles, New Mexico with her elderly foster mother on an

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Is Chaz Bono Really A Man? Doctor says “NO!”

“Chaz Bono is not really a man– not for a second.   She has the genetic makeup of a woman and in reality she’s just a mutilated woman who takes hormones.  If you gave male hormones to the Raquel Welch she would grow a beard and get chunky and manly — there is nothing in nature that makes Chaz Bono an actual man.  It’s just an illusion.”  [Dr. Sheldon Hartunis MD, Chief of Gyencological Gentics, University of Antigua, UK.  Chaz Bono

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Tony Bennett Is A Senile Asshole — He Says “U.S.A Caused 9-11”

“I am not buying his new record because what he said was a disgrace.  I will never again buy anything that Tony Bennett does.  He’ll be dead soon anyway.  What is he..,like ninety or something?”  [Dean Traherne, 72, Palma Vista, Florida.] “Tony Bennett may have left his heart in San Francisco, but it now he’s left part of his brain in the garbage.  The poor old guy is senile and the glue from his many wigs has dug deep into

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