Aries – March 21 – April 20 — You are not feeling well — look into that. The one you may need to have your blood pressure checked. Take care of your heart. Lucky Numbers: 09 16 48 42 38 02 Taurus – April 21 – May 21 — Somebody has tried to trick you ina financial deal. Nothing has happened but becareful of a erson with a name like Robert or Vincent. Lucky Numbers: 21 26 29 47 50 48 Gemini – May
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According to experts, a lot of intellectually limited gay men with IQs below the 90 range, seem to respond mentally when old ladies say sassy and “dirty” things — even if the old lady in question never said it. That sounds very unscientific and biased but it turns out to be true. YIKES! Last year, gay Facebookers spread a fake Betty White Quote about “balls” and “vaginas.” Just when you thought you’d seen your last fake facebook celebrity quote, the lower intellect homosexuals are are at it
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Dick Morris’ Election Predictions Are Always Wrong. He Is An Asshole. He’s fat. His face is blubbery. He speaks through his tiny and crooked bottom teeth like Eric Cartman, and his lower jaw goes in all kinds of retarded directions. He looks and sounds like a female-to-male sex change old Jewish lady — and he’s a frigging moron. Every election prediction he makes turns out to be wrong — ALWAYS — yet Fox and a few other networks keep
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Gay Men Saved From Hurricane Sandy. Gay Men’s Hurricane Services of New York City are hunkered down in their midtown offices, preparing New York City’s gay men for Hurricane Sandy. “Mayor Bloomberg announces that all cruising areas will remain open,” said Dr. Benjamin Switchy, a representative from the the gay organization that finds shelter for gay and bi curious men during natural disasters. “We have been assured that the city will be equipped with condom and lube dispensing machines that are able to
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“Don’t be stupid, get off the barrier islands and let me handle this the best way I know how — don’t be stupid.” [New Jersey Governor Chris Christie] In an act of selflessness and intestinal foritude, New Jersey Governor Chris Christie is planning to pull down his pants on the beach in southern New Jersey, and emit a huge fart directly into the storm as it attempts to make landfall not very far from where Snooki and Mike The Situation once
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Hurricane Sandy is headed straight for New Jersey and there isn’t a single D-size battery left on the shelf of any supermarket. Wonder Bread is gone and people have to buy the cheaper brands that do not help build strong bodies twelve ways. Milk is in short supply as is bottled water and soda water. One thing that might go unnoticed by the ordinary American is that film production on a long-awaited major motion picture being filmed on the beach
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Candy Crowley is cashing in on her fame as the debate monitor at the second Presidential debate by opening up her own line of hair care products and clothes for the woman with curves and fat and then some. “Candy looked kind of really really huge and her hair looked greasy and unkempt,” said fashion designer and health guru Sheldon Hartunis of the Hartunis Human Body Remake Company in Laurence Harbor, New Jersey. “She was far too wide and way
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“ “If dead people are attracted to a frigging idiot like this, I hope there is no afterlife.” [Damien LeGallienne]. After gaining notoriety on her TLC show “Long Island Medium,” Theresa Caputo is the down-to-earth psychic that fans adore — but not Italian Americans. Most of them think Caputo is an annoying c’afone who hoodwinks people into thinking that she sees dead people. According to some viewers — reality TV viewers especially — this crock of shit with pesto
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Rants and Raves