Joey Lawrence has had his ups and downs. His career has gone from very sky high to so-so and then to lackluster. He used to have a head full of bushy brown hair but then it started to thin out as he approached his crucial 30th year and Joey was faced with a hair-raising dilemma.
Soon after the hair started to go, Joey started sprouting copius amounts of chest hair which he then carefully waxed and shaved in order to keep his teen idol looks intact. It’s almost as though Mother Nature was trying to destroy Joey Lawrence but Joey wasn’t going to let that happen. He fought back. We could have had a hairy chested and bald Joey Lawrence, but Joey fought back.
Joey countered the growth of chest hair with a strict regiment of waxing and shaving. To further enrage the ravages of time, Joey pumped up at the gym seven days per week and developed those often seen Joey Lawrence shirtless pecs he is so proud to show off. Joey Lawrence also pumped up his very muscular biceps and triceps until he had a body that was the envy of every guy in Hollywood.
The only thing that held Joey back from being a real hunk was the fact that he was balding, but again, Joey fought back and opted for a shaved head look. During the shaved head stage, Joey used a special hair-illusion where pinpoint dots of black pigment are dyed onto his scalp so as to create the illusion that his hair is very thick and close-cropped. This plan backfired because whomever it was that performed the procedure only succeeded in making Joey Lawrence’s shave hair look really creepy and weird. His head looked shiny and it all seemed painted.
Joey had thousands of hair transplants and while those were growing in he tried really hard to make the dyed spray on hair work. Some people were so distracted by Joey Lawrence’s huge muscles that they overlooked his weird hair, but now the hair is growing in and age is starting to show on Joey’s face. Hasn’t nature had enough? Isn’t it time for the ravages of time to give this guy a break? Keanu Reeves hasn’t lost a hair or gained a frown line in 30 years, but Joey Lawrence looks like he could be Keanu’s uncle — and keep in mind that Keanu is 14 years older than Joey Lawrence.
The last thing that has plagues Joey Lawrence is that he has not been seen in a speedo or anything that fits tight in the crotch area. Why does Joey Lawrence love to show off his shirtless body but yet he plays it close to the vest where his penis area is concerned? We asked an expert.
“There are two ways one can look at this,” said Dr. Sheldon Hartunis, a clinical psychiatrist and expert in the Sexual Sciences.
“Joey may be VERY comfortable with his manly parts and those are the only things he doesn’t feel he needs to showcase. Joey Lawrence has pumped his chest and arms but he does not try to grope at his crotch or try to enhance the look of his crotch the same way that Justin Bieber and so many other stars have over the era of rock and roll. Joey Lawrence might have a big penis and he is not worried about that. He has turned all of his attention to his hair and to his muscles because his penis is not something that causes him anxiety. It might be huge, but if it was huge he would tend to have more confidence about his other shortcomings.
“The other way one can look at this is that Joey Lawrence has a small penis and he has put so much effort into other parts of his body to compensate for that lack of manliness. There are no rumors about Joey in the SIZE department, but I would venture to guess that he is on the small side and right now he is tackling the problems that medical science can handle. I am certain that Joey Lawrence might have had a lot of hair transplants and he might have had a lot of chest waxing and man-scaping, but I highly doubt that Joey Lawrence would ever get a penis enlargement. I am not saying that it’s out of the question because Joey is doing that male stripper thing, but nudity would be out of the question for a family oriented star like Joey so I would assume if he has a small penis he would just stuff his speedos or whatever it is that male strippers wear.”