Prince Harry is winding up his visit to the USA, and he’s taking with him some fond memories of time well spent with New Jersey’s large Governor Chris Christie.
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Harry stood on an island of dredged sand and said sadly, “This used to be a house?”
Naturally there were some left wing misfits who made stupid comments like, “Yeah, he was shocked that a house could have stood on less than 10 acres.” But that’s what stupid people like to say simply because they do not appreciate the fact that Harry’s presence on the storm-tossed beaches of New Jersey will draw more attention to the tragedy.
Misfits aside, While screaming young local girls and gay men who car-pooled in from Ocean Grove snapped photos and giggled, Harry played a ring-toss game on the Seaside Boardwalk where he won a stuffed animal for an admiring little girl named Amber-Autumn Carrigliolola. The child’s mother was mesmerized.
“It was like a dream. My daughter was so happy to see Prince Harry and when he gave her that stuffed doll, my father — her grandfather — nearly shit his pants because he is a big fan of the Royal Family. To be honest, my father almost shits his pants every day, but this was an especially close call.” [Maryann Carrigliolola, Point Pleasant, New Jersey, USA]
Later, Harry sat at a pizzeria with Governor Chris Christie where the wto enjoyed a sumptuous lunch while sitting by the sea. Harry ate a pepperoni calzone and Governor Christie adjusted his stomach machine to accomodate two slices of pizza and an order of mussels marinara.
“The governor threw up a little bit of his mussels because his stomach can’t hold as much food as it used to since he had the sugery, but a lot of customers throw up my mussels marinara. I don’t think Prince Harry even noticed. I think it’s my sauce that makes people puke. I used to make the tomato sauce at Don’s 21 in Newark and we made a huge vat of sauce on Monday and we kept using it for weeks and weeks.” [Luca Gargiocavallo, Owner/Chef at Luca’s Casa Italiano Nook.]
Prince Harry really like his calzone and he quickly texted his grandmother who had a calzone cooker shipped to her home in Scotland. Prince Harry plans to pack on a few pounds and is even thinking about investing in a string of calzone themed restaurants throughout the UK.