Here is the proof they have come up with: Prince Harry is young. He is goodlooking. He has a great body. He has juicy hotties hanging all over him. He’s a billionaire Prince of England and — get this — it takes two full hands to only partially cover Prince Harry’s large penis. Is this god’s way of mocking the rest of the pasty British men of the world?
“Couldn’t he have given him at least a little weenie,” asked one investigator. “I mean…what bloody else can he have going for him? He’s not even bald like his brother. God is so bloody gay for Prince Harry — that is so not fair. It’s outright dastardly.”
After the investigation, the Queen made a public statement:
“I am certain that God is gay for my grandson and for that I shall always be appreciative,” said Queen Elizabeth as she played a slot machine at The Luxor Casino in Las Vegas.
“The people of the United Kingdom are split down the middle between lusting after my Harry and my William, but William is balding rapidly and he is married to the dreadful creature who frightens children with her clown mouth.”
“Yes, I am especialy delighted to know that God, in his infinite wisdom, is gay for my grandson, Prince Harry who inherited his large tool from my husband, don’t you know?
“Redheaded lads are prone to having large tools and, as a doting grandmother, I must say that our Harry is hung quite nicely. I should think he might be in the area of 8-plus inches or perhaps even 9. Why, I wouldn’t be surprised if he was sporting 10 inches.”
“It is truly a gift that God has chosen to be gay for my grandson who might someday become KING of England simply because Harry has a bigger penis than William, and when the ultimate decision has to be made, I get to call the shots. I am not only the Queen, I am a size queen and I am not about to give up my throne to some pencil-dicked balding horse face — a description which fits both my son and my other grandson.”