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Mega Millions Jackpot numbers lead to Violence and DEATH in New Jersey!

Flora Vawn Butlers, 88, was nearly butchered to death last night in Cherry Hill, New Jersey (USA) by  her best friend Velma Cruthers 82, when Cruthers noticed that a few of Flora’s Mega Millions lottery tickets had some numbers that matched the numbers on her tickets.  She was so enraged that she picked up a meat cleaver and started hacking away at her friend until Flora’s sceams alerted a neighbor who burst into the home and restrained the attacker.

“She stole my numbers ,” screamed Velma Cruthers as she was hauled away – strapped to a gurney and put in an ambulance.

“They were my numbers!  She knew I always played number 46  and 27 in my Mega Millions.  She should die.  I hope I killed her.”

Luckily Flora Vawn-Butlers survived the attack but doctors expect she will have to have weeks of rehabilitation.  Several tendons in her neck were damaged by the attack and a few pieces of veal that were on the cleaver may have caused an infection when they entered deep into the muscle.

“Deep slicing wounds inflicted by an instrument where there is already animal meat, significantly raise the chance that she (Vawn-Butlers) will develop mad cow disease, but at this stage of her life it doesn’t really make a whole lot of difference,” said Dr. Murray Holiday who was the attending physician where the butchered lottery player was treated and eventually admitted.

This is not the only incident where a Mega Millions frenzy about numbers caused injury.

In Union City, New Jersey, a Weehawken man was shot and killed  in a lottery store when the man behind him heard him rattle off a few numbers that may or may not have matched a few of his.

According to eyewitnesses,  62-year-old Hector Klinemin-Velez shoved 89-year-old Carlos Vermerrez away from the counter and said, “Those are my numbers.  I always play 11 and 22.”

Witnesses then said that the old man replied meekly, “I play my late wife’s birthday 11th month 1922.”

Further reports say that this plea for lottery pity only served to further anger Klinemen-Velez and he took out his 357 Magnum and pumped 6 rounds into the old man’s head killing him instantly.

According to police, one woman screamed, “He just shot him with a 357 and he shot him 6 times!”   As Vermerrez lay dead on the floor in a huge puddle of blood in front of the befuddled Hindu man at the lottery terminal, the store was overrun with people who started playing the numbers 3-5-7 or 35- 7 or 3- 57 and then the number 6 as their jackpot number.   When the ambulance came it was too late for Vermerrez but frenzied lottery players ran to the curb to write down the ambulance number and license plate.

“I know that a man died,” said Doris Marcanttoti of Union City who is a devout lottery play and Catholic, “but if any of these numbers come out and I come outta this with 500 million, I am going to pay off that guy’s bail and help him with a lawyer.  You just don’t go around playing other people’s numbers.  I don’t give a shit if it was his dead wife’s birthday or not.  If I had a gun and he played my grandkid’s birthdays I would have shot the old son of a bitch too.”

According to psychiatrist, Dr. Dean Traherne, “The thought of $500 million is too much to handle for some people.  They actually think they own certain numbers and they will do anything to protect their property.  In this case one old lady ended up with hatchet slices and veal in her neck, and another old man died just because he wanted to win a few bucks.”

A spokesman for LPA “Lottery Players Advocacy” said that they “expect several more deaths and injuries before tonight’s drawing.  If there is no winner tonight and the drawing goes on into next week, there could be thousands killed.”

The Damien Zone agrees that money cannot buy you happiness, but in this case it can buy you death.  If, however, you play by the rules and etiquette, and don’t steal numbers from your friends, you might get out of this lottery drawing alive.

 

 

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