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Matt-Taiibi bald “baldness” is getting out of control.

It started out with a guy named Matt from Lebanon who was only 18 but had really bad male pattern baldness.  He hung out in Los Angeles  with another Lebanese guy, a top notch skateboarder named Zef Taiibi  (pronounced, Ty YEE’ beee.) and these kids had money but they went bald really bad when they were young.

As the numbers of this hair-impaired ethnic group have increased over the years, so has the animosity towards them, and it wasn’t long  before the younger “in” crowds of LA, NYC and London blokes and kids starting referring to these badly balding young Arabic looking guys as “Matt Taiibis” — and it’s catching on as a deragatory term.

“Many middle eastern young men who carry a certain gene bald very early and very rapidly,” said Sheldon Hartunis MD, an expert in Genetics and Social Diversity at The University of Michigan School of Medicine.

“They originally start out with a thick head of hair that quickly thins as soon as they reach the ages of 17 or 18.  Rather than just thinning at the crown or the top of the head overall, the hair thins in a way so as to suggest illness or cancer treatments.  It’s actually a cruel kind of baldness to witness in a teenager.

“These young men also often rapidly develop very coarse beards as well as hairy bodies,” continued Dr. Hartunis.

“This bodily change occurs very suddenly — sometimes it takes only a few months –  and it can be quite traumatic for the individual.

“This happens to about 20% of young men from that certain gene pool because they carry the genetic marker for hypersensitivity to the increased male hormone production that comes with maturation, and the tendency to have a large number of dormant, thick black hair follicles.  In their homeland those afflicted are often mocked or left out of social situations.

“In US, French and British culture, however, they try to fit it with stylish headgear or by shaving their heads; something that is not acceptable in their homelands.”

Much of the youth in Western Cultures are becoming increasingly hostile to those who they call matt-taiibis and it’s not only about baldness.

“In big cities the younger crowds simply do not like the matt-taibbi look because these young men are often wealthy Armenians or Syrians or other Arabics who, in the eyes of Europeans or Americans, have no shame about their hair loss and influence the good looking girls with money and fancy cars.  In other words, they are losing the ability to be alpha makes simply because they do not have as much money as most of these so called matt-taiibis.   Most of these first generation Americans or Brits of certain middle eastern descent, were born to wealthy oil executives who emigrated to the West.

“They are fugging ugly and they don’t realize they’re bloody and god awful bald,” said one wavy haired 18-year-old skateboarder at Victoria Station in London.  “They should take their hairy selves back to wherever it is they came from.”

The story is the same in Los Angeles where the younger generation of semi-surfer/hipster/slackers despise these invaders whether they have morphed into a matt-taiibi or still have a full head of hair.

“I only make $11.00 an hour at my job, and I carry 17 credits at school and these guys have daddy’s money but they’re freaking bald and hairy they get the girls,” said a blond and blue-eyed teenager who was blading in Venice Beach, California.

“They look like the guy Monk from TV but they’re like only 18. They are all hairy too like on their backs and shoulders and they go to places to get waxed and what not.  They make me sick. If I see another matt-taibbi, I’m going to whack him in the head with my board.  Everybody hates them and they make me sick.”

 

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