North Korea, the country with no electric lights, publicly declared the incredibly homely heir Kim Jong Un its supreme leader at a huge rally on Thursday in Pyongyang that culminated with his ascent to the top of the hermetic Communist nation after nearly two weeks of national mourning for his father and the completion of a penis enlargement surgery on the young leader that took 12 surgeons 22 hours to complete.

Korean surgeons, working by the candlelight that they can afford in the evening worked feverishly to enlarge the younger Kim Jong’s penis to a length of 22 inches, making it the largest communist penis on the face of the earth.

“My father wrote six operas and his penis was 20 inches long,” said the Kim Jong Un from his recovery room.  “I am not trying to be better than my father, but I wish the people of North Korea to have a leader with the largest penis.  I went to Harlem to get my haircut and I was amazed at the penises I saw there.  Now I am bigger than any bro in the evil USA. I will still buy hair product from the USA, but that is not a sign that I am weak.”

A crowd of tens of thousands, most of them uniformed soldiers, packed the plaza to see the newly enlarged penis before it gets stuffed inside the shapeless pants which do nothing to enhance the shapeless body of Kim Jong Un— named after Mr. Kim’s grandfather, the North’s founding president, Kim Il-sung — and those gathered swore their allegiance to the dynastic transfer of power. The event, a memorial service for Kim Jong-il, who died on Dec. 17, capped 13 days of mourning and introduced the era of his son.

Doctor’s are preparing a second operation to shrink Kim Jong Un’s huge round face.

“If we shrink his face, it will make his penis seem even larger,” said a surgeon who was 4-feet 3- inches tall and starving to death.