Kim Jong il — secret sex life revealed.

Now that he is dead as a doornail, it can be revealed that Korean dictator Kim Jon Il used to be a live action sex webcam guy. He went under the name of VellyVellyHungGuy or Kim Jong the Dong, and he was available for private online screenings for $100.00 per minute on a website called HuskyAsianDaddies.com — they accepted Visa or Mastercard.

“I remember once that I found him on a really sexy website for huskey Asian dudes and I knew he was the man for me,” said Lance MacGregor- Burtonne on Cargill-on-Firth, Scotland.

“He had great flabby pecs and sagging abs and I go for those kinds of Asians. Now that he is dead I don’t know what I will do. He was a fine laddie and a great sex machine.”

Korean leaders are saying that not only did Kim Jong Il write 6 operas and swim across the Pacific Ocean, but he holds the record for the most online paid-for masturbations in history with a one day total of 20 orgasms and 3 quarts of seminal fluid.

“He was velly frunctional as online plostitute and on-rine sex machine. He had pee-po flum all over the whirl paying for opportunilly to have on-rine sex rith him,” said a well-spoke North Korean actor who often did twosomes with Kim Jong “The Dong” IL.

1 comment

#1NikkiJanuary 31, 2012, 11:05 am

hahahahah

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