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What Is Going On With Kelly Osbourne’s Gray Hair?

“Kelly Osbourne has always been a huge Eleanor Roosevelt fan, and her recent hairstyle is a tribute to the late great First Lady.  Sadly, Kelly is not as pretty or smart as was Mrs. Roosevelt. but she’s trying, and for that I applaud her.”  [Dr. Helene Gammucio, Cultural Minister to Montserrat and Hollywood Hair Anthropologist.]

People have been wondering lately about Kelly Osbourne’s gray hair and her new, but antiquated style.  At first her fan (she has only one) noted that her hair had turned gray and wondered if perhaps she was sick or that she had gone prematurely gray or if she was made up for a movie role, but now the truth can be told.

Kelly, is gradually turning into the woman she admires most — Eleanor Roosevelt — the former First Lady and wife of America’s Depression era, four-term President, Franklin Delano Roosevelt.  Mrs. Roosevelt died in 1962 after a lifetime of service to her country. 

“Kelly has been gray since she was a child,” said one top Hollywood hair stylist who’s identity is so secret that he will only work out of a garden apartment in an undisclosed city in Northern New Jersey. 

The stylist went on to say that Kelly  “got tired of all the colors and all the wigs and styles so she decided to let nature take its course.  Kelly thinks that Eleanor Roosevelt is trying to beam energy into her from the afterlife, and the point of entry for that energy is her hair.” 

TheDamienZone is investigating this strange phenomenon because it has been widely known in Hollywood and Washington DC  that Kelly has always been a fan of Franklin D. Roosevelt’s “New Deal” Public Works project.  As a matter of fact, some of the cement left over from the building of the Hoover Dam was used to construct the bottom of her face.

The new look is not only making Kelly almost as pretty as Eleanor Roosevelt, it is instilling in her the desire to help those who are less fortunate and don’t get to hang out in West Hollywood and pretend that they were Amy Winehouse’s best friend.

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