A website dedicated to human stupidity and dumbness

Betty White Facebook Hoax About Balls And Vaginas.

UPDATE FROM BETTY HERSELF:  My Dear Damien, Thank you so much for trying to get rid of this silly prank on my behalf.  I can’t say that I am angry at my many wonderful fans for distributing the story, but I am disturbed – because of its content – that it has become such a sensation and attributed to me.  Of course I enjoy a blue joke as much as the next person, but this one goes just a bit beyond where I would step professionally. Thank you. You’re a sweetie. Hugs and Kisses, Betty. ( 3:50 PDT)

There is a new Facebook Hoax going around and it’s one where there is a picture of Betty White and a quote attributed to her.

“Why do some people say, ‘Grow some balls?’  Balls are weak and sensitive.  If you really wanna get tough, grow a vagina.   Those things take a pounding.” Betty White

Betty White never said this but of course the stupid morons on Facebook are spreading it around — so happy that Betty White said something all sassy and dirty.

BETTY WHITE NEVER SAID THIS!   Geez, I even had to fix the punctuation on the stupid quote.   The truth is that the joke was originally written by comic #Sheng Wang on Mixtape Comedy Show.  Wang borrowed it from something that was supposedly said by another famous comic,  and now somebody affixed Betty’s name to it with the stupid excuse that it SOUNDED like something she would say.  The same thing has been done to #George Carlin and #Don Rickles and #Bill Cosby.  It doesn’t matter how cute it “sounds” coming from Betty White, because she didn’t say it. 

We got first hand information from this Hollywood writer that she indeed did not say it.

“I think that people on Facebook who pass this stuff around are mindless..  It takes just a few seconds to verify.  I have had morons tell me “so what, she didn’t  say it — it’s still funny.”  You don’t put quotes around words and then attribute those words to a specific person.  It’s not only illegal, it’s stupid.”  Source —> http://www.imdb.com/name/nm3834680/?ref_=fn_al_nm_1

Watch the video link on comment #5 below — and then tell me who said what?  Also note below the letter sent to me by Betty White herself. 

UPDATE! UPDATE!:   My Dear Damien, Thank you so much for trying to get rid of this silly prank on my behalf. I can’t say that I am angry at my many wonderful fans for distributing the story, but I am disturbed – because of its content – that it has become such a sensation and attributed to me. Of course I enjoy a blue joke as much as the next person, but this one goes just a bit beyond where I would step professionally. Thank you. You’re a sweetie. Hugs and Kisses, Betty. ( 3:50 PDT)

133 Comments
  1. This jobless asshole (who has a job) passed it on because it was funny regardless of its authenticity. Who gives a shit if she said it or not? It’s still funny. What’s sad is that you are taking this so personally. From the looks of your website, I’m not the one who should feel bad about myself.

  2. Crimson, you are not a journalist so you would not understand that one does not attribute words to somebody in a public forum escpecially when the misquote is crude or vulgar or even a little risque. My website looks like it does for a reason — and I know it’s hard for you to believe that I am an actual journalist, but I am. I have a regular job but the website is a throwaway hobby. You could not, in one year, write the silly and/or serious shit that I, in ten minutes or less, write on here, right off the cuff. You could not do it no matter how much time you took away from your fucking loser job out there in bumfuck Indiana — by the way, you’re supposed to be working and not firing off hatemail to stupid websites. Now go fuck yourself. How about I get a photo of you and have you saying, “I am a cocksucker. I used to be a cuntlapper but I like cocksucking better.” Then I took that photo and spread it all over the internet? Would you take that personally if I did it to you or your mother or your grandmother, you fucking clueless asshole. Then you said, “regardless of its aauthenticity” — wow — you have some serious dumbness issues. Don’t let me call your boss. .

  3. How do you know she never said it? Has she denied saying it? What is your source for her never having said it? The lady has worked blue on a many an occasion, and it’s very much in character with her sense of humor.

  4. It was a joke originally said by a California talk radio DJ and it spread to the point where an Asian comedian used the joke in his standup. Somebody tacked Betty’s photo onto the quote thinking that, “it SOUNDED like something Betty would say,” but in truth, Betty did not say it and is actually disturbed that it is being attributed to her. Yes, Betty has a brassy sense of humor, but this pushes the envelope. I was asked to dispel the rumor and the viral nature of this Betty White non-story.

    Damien
    http://www.TheDamienZone.com

  5. The joke at 1:30 is eerily similar to this quote.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U8QKGwb3c5I

  6. Thank you BGR — You are a person with integrity. This is where it came from and BETTY WHITE NEVER SAID IT!!! Can you believe that people are getting angry at me because I am telling them the truth and I am doing so because Miss White herself is upset about this? I even had some private emails telling me that I was trying to destroy Betty White’s career — can you imagine the stupidity? I am already far too busy trying to destroy Ricky Gervais and Janeane Garfalo’s careers.
    Damien

  7. Just because someone else said it first doesn’t mean Betty White never said it. One doesn’t make the other true. For example, how many jokes has Carlos Mencia stolen in his career? Just cuz someone else said em first doesn’t mean he didn’t too.

  8. Why do people like you seem to be upset that Betty DID NOT say it? Betty White not only did not say it, she does not like the fact that the quote is being attributed to her. Why don’t you call her agent — Jeff Witjas — I won’t give you the number but it’s listed. Ask Jeff — tell him I sent you.

  9. Don’t worry, DDM. Obviously the people hammering you on here are the ones who reposted the lies and now they feel embarrassed about it, especially the fact that Betty herself is a little pissed off about having it bandied about as being quoted by her.
    Imagine the uproar if the image, instead of Betty, had a picture of Jesus on it…

  10. Boddo — YOU are a genius! I don’t know about you, but I almost always instantly know when something is fake. Last year I helped another celebrity with something much more inflammatory, and like Betty White, it was at the request of that person’s “people.” The strange thing is that TheDamienZone seems to be a silly and dopey website, but it’s actually very popular – it makes tons of money and it gets thousands of visitors a day. I am very proud to have a reader like you — if you have a subject you would like to see me address — just tell me and I’ll try to do it.

    Damien
    ddm@thedamienzone.com

  11. My first reaction was to laugh, my second was to think, no way did Betty ever say that. Thanks for clearing the issue up.

  12. Yes. I am totally upset by this, you can tell by all the emotion I am showing in my comments. UPSET

  13. But you came back, Coren. You came back to see the response, and while you were gone, I got a note from Betty. I do not talk out of my ass. Did you read the update at the bottom of the article? I think you should read it. Also, I did not pick on you as being particularly upset, I was grouping the reactions of all the commentors.
    Damien

  14. i wondered if the quote was correctly attributed or not, but it sounded as if it ‘might’ have come from Betty, and i DO really really like this quote. i had to search through some four pages of google before i found anything that said that this might not be her quote. still, i want some proof, something more than another quote. how about a video of her saying it isn’t so?

    and just where did this other comic get the joke from?

  15. The proof, dizzybtch, is the letter sent to me by Betty? Did you read the last paragraph of the article? I put up an update when I got the email from Betty — I posted the email.

    Damien

  16. That “proof” is no better than the image attributing this quote to Betty. And you’re a “journalist”?

  17. Yes I am — I am a columnist for a major international magazine — and I was a news writer for Reuters while I attended Princeton University. That’s how I paid my tution all on my own-some. So, like any good Ivy League educated journalist, I can confidently tell you to go fuck yourself.

  18. Whats funny about the quote is hearing it in your head in Betty White’s voice. It’s true in anyone’s voice, but it’s downright hilarious in hers.

  19. I leave out one letter accidentally and I have “dumbness issues”? And how do you know what I do for a living? Or furthermore, whether I write or not. In fact, I write for a living.

    And I’m not mad at you for telling the truth. I was put off because you automatically jump to calling anyone who posts it a “jobless asshole” when those two things have nothing to do with posting a picture. Most people I know were doing as I do and Facebooking on lunch. I saw the picture, thought it was funny and wanted to verify its authenticity, AS SOMEONE WITH INTEGRITY WOULD DO, which is when I ran across your sorry excuse for an article. So I posted the picture, captioned it “It’s not real but it’s still funny” and went about my business of writing for a living.

    The fact is, it was completely unprofessional and downright illogical for you to insult the people who posted the picture. The logical approach would have been to remind people that it’s always appropriate to check before reposting something. A lot of people are going to end up on this page and they’re all potential followers. If you insult them, you won’t get their support.

    They can teach you a lot at Princeton but apparently common sense isn’t on the curriculum.

  20. I just realized that YOU spelled “authenticity” incorrectly; not me. So I have no idea what your issue with that phrase was.

  21. Wow someone is butthurt….the joke isn’t as funny if you don’t picture it coming out of betty whites mouth. If anything the facebook’ers did the joke a favor

  22. Okay — next time we’ll do a joke with your grandmother’s picture and something about her being a cocksucker — I’ll get my friends to tell their friend to tell their friends to spread it around facebook. — okay, sulfide?

  23. To point out typos is very déclassé — my issue was not with your spelling — you could make a million mistakes and I wouldn’t care. Einstein could not spell — not that you’re an Einstein. You needn’t have any worries on that score.. My issue with the authenticity thing is that too many people pass off misquotes as humor. To say that authenticity doesn’t matter, shows a complete disregard for online integrity — like giving a woman a fake diamond ring for an engagement present. I didn’t say the quote was not funny ( in a way it’s white trash funny), I said that Betty did not say it. Don’t you think I have better things to do than campaign for or against Betty White? I wouldn’t do it for NO REASON.

  24. Again, your spelling never entered my mind. My sorry excuse for an article was unprofessional and illogical because that’s the nature of TheDamienZone. Read some of the other pieces and tell me the planet which will issue this blog a Pulitzer Prize. If I had politely reminded the scrounges of Facebook in a nice way as you suggested, I would have come up against the same bullshit from the same stupid people. The fact that you don’t realize that fact proves to me that you do not write for public consumption. You would understand me completely if you did. My sorry website makes a lot of money — and I work on it out of the corner of my eye. Every silly article you see — including doctored photos — was whipped up in 3 or 4 minutes. I’m very good at this, and Google “loves my content.”

  25. I ran across the piece in question, and I was about to post it on my wife’s Facebook page. Before doing so, I did what I always do — attempt to verify the authenticity of the content. After a small bit of searching, I did not re-post it, because to do so would violate all sorts of honesty and integrity principles — something that seems to be in short supply these days.
    It totally annoys the crap out of me to see all the lies and crap that gets perpetrated and propagated via Facebook. It seems that Facebook is becoming a regular Idiot’s Ball, so I don’t dance there much any more. I too, find it interesting that people will disregard the fact that something is untrue just because it draws lots of comments on Facebook or other venues. Here’s a classic example of such behavior. The people who posted this have been notified dozens of times that it’s not true, but they let it keep feeding the public ire:
    https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=242411849139888&set=a.163747983672942.36367.149478678433206&type=1&theater
    Don’t the ignorant people in the world just wear you out ??? Cheers !!

  26. Thank you, Ollie — And you would not believe ( maybe you will) how up in arms people get about these fake stories. It’s gotten to the point where I can say just about anything and people will believe it. In my real line of work I run across this kind of crazy stuff in forms that can, and often do, hurt real people. Many times, a link like the one you sent me, is used to pass along a computer virus, but mostly it’s because people are stupid. The purpose of this blog was to reveal and enjoy stupidity — and I do it every day. I can write a story about the TV show GLEE being invaded by aliens from Mars and I will get 10000 emails from teens asking me what they can do to help — I kid you not. It’s okay for kids to be stupid, but I find the most stupid demographic to be women ages 3-99 and men ages 16-29. You learn a lot of things as a webmaster with access to your own website stats. I appreciate your comment more than you can know. Sadly, if all my readers were as erudite as you seem to be, I would have to ditch TheDamienZone. 🙂

    Damien

  27. Damien, why are you taking this so seriously? Your outraged sensibilities did provide for some entertaining reading (especially your responses to comments) but I really can’t understand why you’re so upset. If something like this bothers you to this extent, I think you’re probably going to have an ulcer and high blood pressure by the age of 30 (your protestations of education and career notwithstanding, you sound like a teenager trying to sound more important than he is). Or maybe you’re telling the truth about your education/career, and you just have the maturity of a teenager.

    By far, the funniest part of this page is the proof you provided : the quote from Betty White denying the joke’s authenticity, which you posted apparently confident that people would believe it’s real. I would like to believe that it’s a cynical demonstration of peoples gullibility – to show that just like people believed the balls/vagina Betty White quote was real, people will believe your denial Betty White quote is real, since in both instances, there is no reason to believe their veracity. I don’t think you’re that clever though. If you were, you would have had a smarter response to the guy who called you on your ridiculous ‘proof’ – instead of just telling him to go fuck himself.

  28. I tell everybody to go fuck themselves when I don’t feel like typing. I type all day — and this blog ain’t what I’m typing. Go ahead and insult me if it gives you any measure of happiness, because you are a doody head. By the time I’m 30 —– c’mon!

  29. Well, without just being a troll and trying to drag you into an argument, I do have to say…it’s sort of silly to be mad at a bunch of people for connecting a celebrity they like with a quote they find funny. Betty White does make jokes at least as dirty as this, despite what she might have said to you, so where’s the harm? It’s not illegal to be mistaken.
    I also must protest you saying that you “fixed” the grammar of the original quote. The question mark is not part of the quote, which is a very short and specific one, and thus it’s acceptable to put it outside the quotation marks.

  30. God I laughed at this post and your response to the comments. I Google everything before posting anything I haven’t created.

    You would not believe how many small business owners fell for the China Domain Registration scam and sent money to “someone in China” to make sure a duplicate web name could not be purchased there. If they had just Googled the opening sentence on the email they would have seen all the posts about it being a scam.

    I did not believe Betty said this because of an interview she did where she said she doesn’t like foul language of any kind. She is rather conservative in nature, but professional when she is being paid to perform. She would not say something like this. She is too classy for it.

    Fondest regards,
    Damien

  31. @SKIPPER — I am “sorry” that “you” do not “agree” with my “punk-chew-ay-shun” and “my opinions” about misquoting people — that “annoys me.” Remember, Confucious say, Nobody rikes a Engrish glammer crokslukker with smerry finger. Most difficult to rike velly much. Kindly note, Skipper, “they” did not have “punctuation” marks in the time when Confucious said the stuff he said so don’t point out the historically accurate “mistake” you seem to think I made — which I didn’t because the whole FRIGGING THING IS ATTRIBUTED TO BETTY AND THEREFORE THE WHOLE FRIGGING THING IS A QUOTE, YOU FREAKING NUMBSKULL! GET OUTTA HERE BEFORE I CALL THE COPS IN ALL CAPS.

    Damien

  32. @CATHERINE Catherine, you are the kind of reader I like. You are dependable. These people who try to malign me think that I wll stand idly by like some inky little slacker and watch them rob me of my opinions –and for what? For what reason? For jealousy! It’s true I have the respect of my readers. I am proud of it. I encourage them to look for truth and integrity and honesty in all things. I do not teach them, Catherine, to look for slime where it does not exist. When I finish this letter I will take the company helicopter home across the river and my family will find me composed and prepared to teach my visiting nieces about the French Revolution. That is the stuff I am made of! Thank you, Catherine.

  33. Only fags like to hear old ladies curse. This is a fag thing.

  34. You do make me jealous with your wit though.

  35. Skipper, you are so brutally wrong about the punctuation. Damien’s repair work is 100% correct. Frankly, I was impressed by it. The way the quote is written on the photo is morbidly incorrect. If one of my students punctuated that quotation, they’d have a nice big F to bring home to mom and dad. Where did you go to school?

  36. Thank you Cali Teachy — I was going to ask Skipper where he went to school as well. Maybe on Gilligan’s Island- huh? Imagine how fucking annoying he must be in real life; to proclaim proficiency or knowledge about something any 4th grader would know, and yet still be pretentiously wrong. That might have been the most vomit-inducing comment I received all week. Who did he think he was talking to — a moron? Hey — I make typos all day long, but I can punctuate a sentence. The teacher said, “Get out of my fucking class, Skipper, and stop saying, ‘I am smart,’ because you are one dumb fucking asshole.”

  37. Thank you, Catherine. Without giving away your email or anything like that, I am connecting the dots — 8 Femmes and Catherine. If it’s true — can you take me away to Antibes?

  38. Ha! You kill me. I’m terrible at French, you?

  39. @Catherine — I am a French speaking person but I am American.

  40. Dirty mouth? Clean it up with orbit. 🙂

  41. Oh no! Don’t show this douche what Zach Braff said! His sense of humor might completely break!

  42. Who is the douche? Me? if so, you missed the point.
    Damien

  43. If you’ve never heard the joke before, it probably does seem funnier if you imagine Betty White saying it. But I thought the joke was funny when I heard it months ago. And the quote in the viral picture actually changes the joke and is less funny for it.

    It’s not just taking the joke and misattributing it. It’s changing it so the context is completely different. Instead of being ‘guys, our balls are overrated’ it’s ‘behold the power of my uterus!’. I suppose if that’s what you prefer, then yeah, I suppose you would be upset. But if you take it to be a funny joke, then one would appreciate the original telling of it a lot more.

  44. hmmm i can see both sides . . . posting is a fickle thing being that its hard to tell where people are coming from . . . i love love love Ms. White and while the joke was funny ish to me when I saw it I wanted to scope the source because it seemed a little far fetched for the lovely dingy comedy of Betty White. Can even think of a million different ways to de-trash that joke all within 5 minutes of reading it so surely I’m not the only one as I hardly consider myself genius-status! Anyway, only reason I decided to comment was that you had me at “…I am already far too busy trying to destroy Ricky Gervais and Janeane Garfalo’s careers.”, Damien! 😉 Needed to say hello since I got a laugh outta that one!
    Betty on!

  45. Hi Betty— that’s funny because I made myself laugh with that last sentence — because it’s true.

    Damien

  46. I wondered if you would cite a source for this being a hoax, and I see that instead you are claiming that Betty White sent you a personal note! My, my — you must be a very important person! Why didn’t you submit the letter to a bona fide news outlet? I can’t see HuffPo or any number of other celebrity-oriented websites turning down something so clearly supported, and you’d get paid for correcting the record to boot! Since Betty White personally wants you to expose this Facebook hoax, why are you only promoting it on your website, which — no offense — doesn’t get much reach. I mean, you have 45 comments in 4 full days of news cycle. I can’t imagine you have anything like the hits for really getting such an important piece of celebrity news out in the open.

    Because, after all, you’re not faking the letter from Betty White so that you can legitimate a claim on which you were called, are you? I’m sure a quick call to White’s publicist or agent would verify her having sent you that note. Right?

  47. Get paid for correcting the record? Are you aware of my stats? What planet are you living on? As far as my website not getting much reach, I would say that 43,000 unique visitors per week is far from being small time. You need to know the difference between a boutique news blog and a major media blog. I am a boutique website/blog and lot of publicity people come to me. I’m not a little blogger, writing stories about my muffin recipes — that’s a totally different world.

    Not so long ago I was asked to cover (for a friend) a seemingly non-story but still worthy of a boutique blog — one where the publicist tests the waters. I didn’t put much thought into it but it was well-written and I laid out the facts. In a few days I started to notice that the story had legs and in a few weeks it was picked up by The O’Reilly Factor, Gawker, BBC America and countless others. Did I get credit? No! Did I care? No! Did I get paid? Yeah — a lot — but not by the publicist. I made money because after the story took off my site got a zillion visits and a lot of google ad money and my banner ad contracts upped my wall space price by 2000% — That’s how it works. If you can find a publicist who pays YOU — especially in this age where celebs are their own publicists via Twitter and facebook — let me know. I would love to work for them.

    I only publish about 20% of the comments I get and I never publish the emails — I get many more of those. Also, I am a real writer, for a real news organization. I write this dopey blog out of the corner of my eye and I do it quick (silly pictures included) — and I double my income by doing it. Don’t criticize something about which you are uninformed. I gave out the info for Betty’s agent in an earlier comment. Nobody is stopping you from calling — I just hope you aren’t an aspiring blogger because you’ve already burned one bridge. Don’t burn another.

    And for the record, kindly do not try to talk down to me — it’s not possible — I will always be smarter than you. When Camille Paglia or Philip Roth tries it, I will acquiesce.

    Damien

  48. You just can’t go away — you have to be heard. Go back to Deer Lodge and open up a trailer park — that’s where you belong.

  49. Presumptuous, misogynist, threatening AND defensive! Surely the Princeton alumni magazine is gagging for you to be their cover subject any day now (and then you’ll get famous enough for Camille Paglia to want to take you out to lunch! Squee!).

    For the record, there isn’t a single phone number listed anywhere on this page, and the only links you posted were to your main page and your email address. You also accused me of being an inspiring blogger and mistaking my assertion that you be paid by a news organization as instead getting paid by a publicist, both of which are, well… I quote no less an Internet authority than James T. Kirk when I say, “I’m laughing at the superior intellect.”

  50. Ladies and gentleman — I present — THE IDIOT!

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