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Welcome Back Kotter – REUNION!!!

For Many years fans have waited anxiously for a Welcome Back Kotter reunion show, and now, thirty plus years later, they are finally going to get their wish.  The gang will all be back to tell Mr. Woodman — “Up your nose with a rubber hose.”

Yes, the totally unrealistic gang members will be back to try to redo tha simpleminded show they did way back in the 70s — the show that made John Tavolta a big star and Gabe Kaplan a Poker player.  The best part about the reunion show is that it will take place in a men’s bathhouse and we think there might be some kind of symbolism involved  — like maybe they are all adrift on some heavenly ship that is going through steamy clouds on it’s way to the afterlife or something.

“We have the bathouse  set up with lights and even some of the original classroom mock-ups,” said Seth Gorenberg, the set designer for the show and a frequent guest of the BelAir Steam and Sauna For Men Club.  The story has nothing to do with heaven although John seems to think this place is heavenly.

“Everybody will have their own dressing rooms except John Travolta who already has a private suite of rooms here.  He’s had that suite here for many years.  We might have to buy some land and put in a runway so that John can get here because he is a big airline pilot —  even though he never talks about that — too much.

According to leg work done in Hollywood by TheDamienZone.com investigation team, Robert Hegyes (Epstein) has been very busy since the show ended but he’ll be aboard the reunion show.

“Since Welcome Back Kotter called it quits over thirty years ago, Robert Hegyes has been very busy in the movie industry,” said a source close to the reunion episode. 

 “He was a bicycle messenger for Paramount for 12 years and he did catering for a lot of shows.   He had his own catering truck with hot dogs and hamburgers and sloppy Joe’s.   Yes, he has been so busy in show business that it’s amazing he found time to do the show.  He also did a play in at the Palm Acres Gardens Playhouse in Lantana, Florida where he starred with Joyce Dewitt in South Pacific.  He played the part of the old mother who sang the song ‘Bali Hai’ — it was a real tear-jerker.”

TheDamienZone couldn’t find Ron Pallillo’s (Horshak)  people but we know that he is working full time as a director in action adventure movies that are filmed on Fire Island, NY, USA.  His latest film,  “Penetrating The Dunes” also stars Academy Award winning actor Jeff Stryker and features some great special effects and some newcomers.  Ron Palillo is also working on a sequel to his 2007 blockbuster,  “Sex Toy Story 2”.  Ron likes to work and we heard from people in the industry that he is very anal about making movies. 

Ron is married with 10 kids and 7 grandchildren — can you believe it? 

The black guy, Freddie Boom Boom Washington  has been doing things in TV but not much.  I think he was in a few movies or something but he is not too keen about having the reunion take place in a men’s bathhouse. 

“These actors can’t be picky about why we are having the reunion at the bathhouse,” said Gorenberg.  “It’s John’s call and he is the only one from that show who is a star.  The rest of them are total nobodies except for Gabe Kaplan who does cheap Texas Hold ’em Poker shows.  If John wants the reunion to take place in a bathhouse, that’s where it will take place. ”

According to industry insiders, Mr. Woodman will be exhumed from his crypt at Beth Shalom Oy Cemetery in Westchester and they will use a voice double.  If Woodman’s remains look too bad they will only have him talk over the classroom  speaker with snippets taken from old shows  — like John Forsythe did in Charlie’s Angels movies. 

“It would be kind of fun to have a rotted corpse play an important part in the show,” mused Gorenberg.  “I’ll run that by the writers and the producers.  I think a dead actor will attract a lot of viewers especially now that Mr. Woodman has something to be angry about.”

So John Travolta will again be a Sweathog, but this time with real sweat  — and we wonder what he’ll be hogging down on.  John can’t wait to  get back in the steam room with his buddies from the old show.  He always liked Epstein the best because he had the biggest salami and John was Italian in the show and Italians love to get big salami — especially in sweaty steam rooms.

When the show wraps up, John will kiss each cast member on the lips as they board the plane and he will fly  them all home to wherever they live.

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