A website dedicated to human stupidity and dumbness

Spanish word in Vonage commercial: “…big turkey and the big _______.” What ?

This commercial for Vonage has been driving people nuts because nobody knows what the hell the woman is talking about.   But, in the interest of helping non Spanish people feel at home while dining with Dora The Explorer  the answer is —

Pernil.  It’s a Caribbean dish of roasted pork shoulder that’s popular in Puerto Rico.

pernil
A good spice rub transforms the plain-sounding pork shoulder into pernil, a tender Puerto Rican roast that cooks for a whole afternoon. When it’s done the rich and spicy skin crackles, the smoky meat falls off the bone, and the fat and juices mix with the excess spices to make a sinfully delicious gravy. And your house will smell like heaven all day while it cooks but your neighbors will puke because it stinks like rotted pigs.

The big PERNIL!!!!  Who cares!
103 Comments
  1. Sorry, its the Big Fetnini. And will forever now be recorded in history as the Big Fetnini. Where the heck does anyone come up with ” the big pernil”? She didn’t say PER-NIL, she clearly waved her cape and said FET-NI-NI! Arrrghh! And the big TOUR-KEY!

    And what about that fool on the other commercial who says “the thervis ith great.” Uuugh! Vonage is awful!

  2. How can I join the “We Hate Judy Comprez” website!

  3. I think that this is the most annoying commercial ever put on tv, ever. It’s intolerable. We must boycott it! I love you guyz for hating it too! The big stupid pernil no more!

  4. Onleemated colling.

  5. LOL — I almost deleted that “Onleemeted colling” as spam and then when I figured it out I shit my pants laughing!

    You guys are the greatest
    Damien

  6. It feels like you are all my family.

    God, I can’t stand that commercial.

  7. Yes, we are all family — and there’s more — http://thedamienzone.com/2011/02/09/judy-comprez-vonage-wanted-for-stealing-perneeeees/
    See her and her cape and boots and read the real story about Judy Comprez!

    Love you all — Damien

  8. The dripping arrogance of a {{{BIG}}} Pernini…..not just an average sized Pernini, but a freeking big one….coupled with the puzzling question as to why anyone would place an international call to even discuss the damn thing. Its so wrong on so many levels. I may need years of therapy to get the optics out of my head……the Big Pernini, hooker boots, cape, and the long distance call. I can’t stop thinking about it, commenting on it…. its manifesting itself in my phyche. God help me. If I see a pork roast, I may go postal. I suggest we file a class action lawsuit against Vonage, so nothing like this ever happens again.

  9. OK, I’m so glad I found this site. Thanks for the info. I’m not sure why this commercial got my panties in a bunch, but I’m happy to see other kindred spirits.

    I accept the information presented above, but I swear that I still hear ‘big pagnini’.

    No worries. BTW, don’t hate the actress, hate the director that wanted her to sound more ‘ethnic’. Reminds me of an old Jimmy Smits skit on SNL where his colleagues made pains to pronounce things like ‘enchalada’ with an accent.

    Hah!

  10. Thank you SO MUCH for explaining what this word means. “The big turkey and the big fednee…” has been making me nuts for weeks. Drivin’ me crazy. Short trip for me, I guess!

  11. i hate that woman i could never tell what she said she was so stupid shes not even a latina shes african american and she has a horrible fake accent and what the actual fuck is she wearing? thanks for telling me what that word was!!

  12. I also couldn’t understand the word, which is how I found this site. But the animosity over this is really nuts. Why are you hostile over her clothing? That kind of clothing is popular all over Europe, and elsewhere. Is it really a crime to be fashionable? I have nothing against her or other cultures. Most Americans are too isolated and many are hateful to other cultures. Like it or not, the world is getting smaller and you will have exposure to other ways of dress, speech and thinking. Most Latins that I know are great people who love their families and lead honorable lives (at least as honorable as we do). I’m not a liberal or a world-traveler. But I know that other cultures are just as valid as our own. That said, they shouldn’t have had her use that word. It just wasn’t good thinking on the part of Vonage. No problem using her, though.

  13. You are over-thinking this, Tolerant Gringo. Her being Puerto Rican is the same as her being from Montana. Look at teh rest of the website and figure it out. Also her outfit is terrible — that’s a SAG commercial which means that she was dressed by the people who made the ad –she doesn’t even get to take the stuff home.

  14. She can be Latina and be dark skinned. The accent is real — the word is ANNOYING — PERNEEEEEEL!

  15. This Page is awesome. For months I have suffered in silent rage. Alone. I have cursed Vonage for having to suffer Judy Compres’ mangling of my fair native tongue. Well, no more! And, FIE on Vonage! Fie! Fie! But, you see, the irony is, I know the “big pegnee” is something ethnic. That’s OK! always room under a big tent. But, to say “unlimited” in one syllable? No, sir. I don’t like it. I mean, where do you draw the line? Pretty soon we’ll be humming to each other because no one enunciates. I dread the day I walk into a public restaurant and hear people “mooing and ‘eeeeee-ing'” like cows and whales. “Server: “May I take your order?” Customer: “Eeeeeooooowowwwwwwweeeee!” Server: What was that?” Customer: “Moooooooooooooo-ooooooo.” Server: “OK, then! That will be Six Double Pegnee’s with Extra Cheese … two chocolate shakes and a King Frie! . Thank you. Your number is FAT Dumb and Stupid. That will be right up.” Customer: “Eeeeeeeeeoooooooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwwww.”

  16. Scooter — I thought that “on-leemited” was already one syllable! LOL — hysterical commentary from so many readers.

    I have been thinking about doing a bio of Judy — completely ad hoc — like, I add a paragraph, and then the next person adds a paragraph — and so on and so on — I wonder how may people will back me on this?

    Thanks for the laugh, Scooter, and special thanks for the social commentary because it’s all so totally possible.
    Damien

  17. What gets me the most is that I, and apparently ALL, of us fell into the trap about wondering what this ‘thing’ is. Even though none of us should. If she misses the swine, and the food item get back on the boat and go back, or sink at sea, so we never have to waste any thought on it or her again. We get it, you can roll your R’s. It’s no wonder we grow less tolerant as a society on a daily basis, as this cr@p is forced upon us with increasing frequency.

  18. I’m sure the lady said “pagnini”. It doesn’t have pernil, no matter how you dice it. For a while I thought she said panini or pugnini.
    Anyway, I’ve heard it a million times, it still sounds like pagnini.
    Well, anyway, bad choice for the commericial – she looks like a female version of bad pacho via or the sister of the guy with the donkey in one of those coffee commercials

  19. Yes, you were right about one thing, she is the granddaughter of Juan Valdez and maybe even his donkey but, I am not going to say it again — I have read the text from the actual commercial. I have also asked every Puerto Rican and Dominican –two are professors of Spanish Language Arts and Culture — and the word is PERNIL.

    If you are a Spanish speaking person, the phonetics of the language dictates the pronounciation. In French, the word for bird is “Ouiseaux” — if you heard me say “Ew-Wah-ZOE” would you believe that it’s the same word you see printed? Get with the globalization, man. Someday your grandchildren will be having a big PERNIL for Native American Unity Day — I mean, Thanksgiving.

  20. Please start the Bio website!!

    I actually did not look up the word Pernil (formerly ‘pegnee’) to find out what she said or what it is. I did this web search to find you guys!!!

    I knew I could share and laugh and it is making my day!!

    Damien, thanks for the kind words.

    I am thinking we could even shoot a low budget film about Judy C. Somewhat like Woody Allen’s “Take the Money and Run.

    OMG AOTHER VONAGE COMMERCIAL IS ON RIGHT NOW!!!

    Is Laura Pruden related to the Rankin/Bass-production’s version of Thorin Oakenshield?

    http://www.cedmagic.com/featured/tolkien/h-1-0232-thorin.html

    Hey, if you accept pegnee, you have to allow a wide enough berth for this assertion.!!

    Intellectual truth knows no bias.

  21. If you cant stand the big pernee and the AAACHHHH of Laura Pruden then you have to see what else the “real” customers of Vonage do. Follow the link :http://www.theonion.com/video/advocacy-group-mothers-have-right-to-expose-milken,17381/

  22. The Onion is for misfits and left wingers. TheDamienZone doesn’t like those kind of people. Mention The Onion again and YOU’RE OUT!!!!!!

  23. Hahah! We kept thinking she was saying “the big turkey and the big, fat meat.” Needless to say, many dirty jokes cme after the commercial. “Why is she calling a gf about the big fat meat?!?!”
    Hahah.
    I liked Judy but her wording was a conundrum to me! 😀

  24. I like calling my girlfriend and talking about the big fat meat too — but it’s PERNIL DAMMIT!!!!!!!

    Damien 🙂

  25. ScooterPie — if you go to the DamienZone home page there is a recent story (today) where I started writing the bio — you can continue it. hehehehe

    Damien

  26. Wilbur — I love the part where you say, “It’s so wrong on so many levels.” HOWLING WITH LAUGHTER!!!!

    Damien

  27. She’s saying “the big turkey and the big pernil”

    Pernil is spanish for pork or pig.
    Some latin househoulds eat pork instead of turkey for thanksgiving. And as far as I know, in Puerto Rico, all thru christmas we eat pork too. Don’t know if other latinos eat pork for thanksgiving as this tradition is inherited from the US.

    Anyways, no one here says “big pernil”, she’s a wannabe latino.

  28. Hey TolerantGringo:

    Fashionable? The last time I saw an outfit like that (in Europe) was walking the streets of Amsterdam. she was selling the big pernini for 50 DM…hehe.

  29. I am so glad I found this blog and I can finally understand what has been keeping me disturbed for weeks.
    If they put an asian speaking really funny it would be just FUNNY, or a british gal sounding like a hate-machine it would sound CLASSY, but if you put a pueLLLt-Lican with muscular’s disorder pronouncing a world that is only popular in a 3,725,789 people’s Island it sounds ANNOYING.
    At the end PR is part of your country so you guys should know more about it. lol

  30. Thank you all for clearing this up. I thought she was saying feblini but I see it is pernil. I must say though that I find Judy to be pretty cute, bordering on hot! Maybe she and I could share a big pernil over candle light sometime.

  31. Haha< I thought it was the bid "Berneen". I really hate it!

  32. This is a time, Jackson, when its good to hate. The big Pernil must be stopped next Thanksgiving! LOL
    Damien

  33. She says “PIG NEEN” in the commercial

  34. Perhaps it is beyond the scope of your reading comprehension, but words that are not English words look strange as opposed to their pronounciation to an English speaking person. “Pernil” is pronounced just as Judy Comprex pronounces it. Do you say Joze or Ho Zay’ when you see the name Jose? When you see the word “frappee” on your blender buttons, do you say “Frape” or do you understand that the word is pronounced Frap-PAY?

    Damien

  35. Two other commercials that drive me insane are: The chocolate bar ad where all the participants and snapping and crunching as they eat, and all in some rhythmic fashion that is supposed to make you want to get up and dance?

    The other is the duet that starts: ‘She packed up her bag and she’s headed out…’ I swear to the Almighty, all I can hear is Arnold Schwartzenegger in ‘True Lies’ singing, ‘She packed up her bag and the bridge is out…’ Please save me.

  36. I haven’t seen either commercial — I’ll look for them.

  37. I was only joking about The Onion, but now that I know what you think of me, I also know that you’ll be back. I actually write this blog from 67 stories up rather than one story down. I think that might be worse than doing it in my mother’s basement.

  38. OK…Have you guys seen the new Vonage minoritiy pandering commercial???? “My name is Sakrish Mala and this is my last bill before I switched to Vonage” This is even more blatant that the pernil and judy comprezzzz. I’m thinking the next one will be an African speaking to me in clicks and I’ll have to read subtitles.

  39. Vonage caters to middle income minorities — the ones who have done well despite being from 3rd world countries. That’s their niche.

  40. Vonage with click language –hmmm — I like that. Better than Judy Comprez or Compress or whatever the hell her name is.

  41. I’m glad I’m not the only person who hates vonage Judy and most recently zukarish Bala. There is substantial evidence that there is something about the big pernil Aka Judy comprez, that makes people hate her. When I hear Judy comprez I too want to thrash the tv, te big kernel drives me nuts. My girlfriend thinks it’s funny to whisper the big pernil in my ear to Piss me off. I dont know if it is Judy comprez herself te words te big pernil or that outlandish cape that she is wearing…

  42. She makes everybody sick — and the cape — she looks like a cross between Jennifer Lopez and Sherlock Holmes.

  43. Sakrish Mala, if that’s even his real name, can also be seen in another commercial, I think it’s Staples. Same guy only clean shaven. This puts some doubt in Vonage’s disclaimer about their actors being real customers.

  44. The meat word isn’t the only part of the commercial that’s undecipherable. Her English just sucks, period.

  45. Speaking of Sakrish Mala, how about the black woman with the hair that looks just like a dirty mop.

  46. I’m really saying I want a Dirty Sanchez.

  47. She looks like what’s her name — Della Reese from Touched By An Angel — she also looks like Simba from The Lion King. She should just put tin cans at the ends of her hair and make calls that way. Sakrish Mala looks like he is the first guy to get smelly in a softball game.

  48. Guess im not alone in the world. I cant stand those stupid commercials they run every 5 min.

  49. I’ve long got over Judy Comprez and her big pernil. But that Bala guy annoys me the most. He’s complaining about his phone bill but goes on to say that he calls his family in India daily – HELLLOOOO!!! I think we found your problem, buddy! QUIT CALLING INDIA ON A DAILY BASIS!

    I too, thought I saw him in another commercial. So I did some research. Turns out the guy is an actor: Sunkrish Bala (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm1726993/). This makes me question Vonage even more. Actual customer testimonials? Sounds fishy to me?

  50. Haaaaaa! Haaaaaa! You hit the nail on the head, DMS3 (that’s a chemical by the way) — But, you know what I hate most about the Sakrish Mala ad? I hate the Della Reese look-alike voodoo priestess with the smelly dreadlocks. She shouldn’t be allowed to call anyone. LOL

    Thanks fopr making my day
    damien

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