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Comedy’s newest “HAS-BEEN” Kathy Griffin wants to go back to 2006.

“I am secretly building a time machine in the house I live in on Life on the D List,” said Kathy Griffin.  “You know the house wasn’t really my house, right?”

Kathy Griffin, former funny lady who got played out faster than Amy Winehouse, is building the time machine so that she can go back to 2006 when her jokes were fresh and mildly amusing.  She is so forgotten, except amongst backward gays in Arkansas and Indiana, that she is no longer on the D – List.  as a matter of fact, her publicity people are digging through ancient alphabets to find a more appropriate letter.

“Kathy has 2006 written all over her,” said publicity expert John Gilbert of Beverly Hills.  “She peaked with her celebrity insider jokes, but now she’s looking old and her whole personna is totally uninteresting.  She should look for a sitcom.  It will surely fail, but she should look for one anyway.”

Griffin recently published a book but nobody really bought it outside of gay guys from Bumfuck, Indiana.

“She is soooooooo funny,” said Hunkerville, Indiana’s gay guy Todd Lansing.  “I was reading her book while I was getting my short hair with the little puff in the front bleached.  It was so funny.   Oh My God, she makes jokes about Nicole Kidman and Madonna.  That is soooooooo funny.”

Looks like Kathy is washed up, but it’s okay because doctors are saying that her misshapen arms legs and feet will not hold up much longer anyway and eventually Kathy would be doing her act from a mechanical mover like the one Sigourney Weaver used in the Alien movie.

She still has a chance with this time machine and if it works she plans on going back as far as 2003 and working her way back.

“If I can keep going from 2003 to 2007 indefinitely, I can be famous for all eternity.  My only fear is that Joan Rivers makes her time machine before I do.”

Joan was not fazed.

“I am 77 years old and I am still funny.  I have been funny for 50 years and when I die I will never be forgotten.  I don’t need a time machine. I have talent.”

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