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EXCLUSIVE PICS: On board the plane when stewardess STEVEN SLATER lost it.

Joan Cowsfeet.  The passenger who started it all.
“The lady who was trying to get to her suitcase had cold cream slathered all over her face,” said Sashi Liebowitz, a passenger on the Jet Blue plane where steward Steve Slater went wild and slid his way into fame. 

 

“She wanted respect or something and the steward was just as bitchy.  I mean, these were two major bitches butting heads.  I ducked for cover but by then the guy opened the door and jumped down the slide.”

Miss Crowsfeet's version is quite different from what others aboard are saying.

The woman who started the whole thing, 54 year old Joan Crowsfeet, has come forward and gave  TheDamienZone.com an exclusive interview.

“It was a lovely flight,” said Crowsfeet from her apartment above Frank Campbell’s Funeral Home on Manhattan’s West Side where she was accompanied by a servant named Carol Ann.  “I don’t see what all the fuss is about.  I thought everyone was lovely and the trip was fabulous, but when I had Carol Ann go for my luggage the flight boy seems to have had some kind of breakdown.  Of course I am not a psychiatrist and hardly qualified to make a diagnosis, but he did seem a bit deranged.  Poor pitiful creature.   It was by the grace of God that we were already safely on the ground when he opned the door.  It could have been a tragedy.”

 

According to passengers this is not at all what happened and that Miss Crowsfeet had been baiting and bothering  Steven Slater from the minute she boarded the plane in Pittsburgh.

“As soon as she sat down she was really mean to him,” said Polly Bergen of Manhattan.  “She called him over and threw her mink coat at him and then she asked him for a pack of Pall Malls and a scotch on the rocks — and she said to ‘make it quick, honey’.  She kept calling him honey. 

“When Mr. Slater told her that she couldn’t smoke on the plane and that Scotch was $7.00,” continued Bergen, “she called him a two-dollar cocksucker.  Those were the exact words she used.  He should have had her thrown off the plane before it even took off.”

Another passenger who was sitting across from Crowsfeet said that she kept asking her for a cigarette.

“She asked me for a cigarette three times,” said Lakeesha Johnson of Washington Heights. “And she wanted to know why she was seated in the colored section.

 “I told her that there be no smoking on airplanes and no colored sections  neither but she just gave me this smirk face and shit –  you see what I’m sayin  – and then she said that if I got her a cigarette she would give me a job cleaning her house when we landed.  So I was like, Bitch, you don’t know me.  She calmed down then and said that she wasn’t mad at me, she was mad at the cigarette.”

Crowsfeet has a whole other take on this.

“I sat next to a lovely woman from Africa,” said Crowsfeet as she took a long drag on her unfiltered cigarette.  “Such durable and strong people those Africans.  I admire them for their tenacity and strength in the face of adversity.  I plan on doing  some charity work there after I finish my next picture.

“It’s a tough life being African,” Crowsfeet continued as smoke billowed from her mouth and nose.   “I’m busy ducking photographers and autograph hounds butthose poor people are ducking lions and rhinos. 

“Sometimes I think that the white man doesn’t know how easy we have it.    Poor creature didn’t even have one lousy cigarette to spare.  Can you imagine that — can you?”

According to airline reports, Crowsfeet and Carol Anne scrambled for the overhead compartments before the plane even landed and that Steven Slater told them to sit down but both refused.  Slater tried to close the overhead door but was hit in the head by a hat box.  He became infuriated and as soon as the flight stopped he grabbed the public address handset and called Crowsfeet a cunt. 

Another flight attendant, Barabra Stone, tried to stop Slater and attempted to take the microphone from him.

“Please Barbara!  Barabara please,” shrieked Slater jsut before he grabbed a beer can and then opened the emergency door and slid down onto the tarmack.

Police are investigating.

“Like I said, it was a lovely flight and everything was simply lovely,” said Crowsfeet.  “I hope that Mr. Slater gets the help he needs and if there is anything  I can do — anything — I will be happy to help.”

 

4 Comments
  1. I have been loving your posts. I really wish you would join facebook. Thanks for the laughs.
    Dave Davis

  2. Hi Dave: We would love to join Facebook but we’re not really sure how to do that and still maintain our level of nastiness. People are bitches and they like to complain. Thank you for loving TheDamienZone.com and we hope you tell your friends — and perhaps suggest some of the people you would like to see mocked on our site — we really like the input.

    Sincerely
    Damien

  3. Hilarious!!! I love this site, hope to see you on Facebook soon!

  4. Yes we will be making the move to facebook soon. Thank you Lisa.

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