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WARDEN FEARS, “PHIL SPECTOR COULD BLOW OUT OF PRISON IN SPRINGTIME”

Warden Humhphrey Chiztoner had stated publicly that additional security measures have been installed around convicted murderer Phil Spector. 

“Phil is a cagey one,” said Chiztoner.  “His head germinates in the early spring and there is a good chance that he could simply blow away. 

“Just to be bitches, we have added a ‘WALL OF SOUND’ around Spector, but even that can’t keep the April breezes from taking him away into the air.  The good news, however, is that whoever catches him gets a promotion and a wish.”

The “Wall of Sound” reference was made because Spector invented a recording technique with that name.  Instead of using on or two instruments, he used dozens and layered these sounds on top of each other on multiple audio tracks.  It creates a great sound that’s loud and rich.

“It’s probably a lot like what Lana Clarkson heard when Spector shot her in the face,” chuckled the cheeky warden.  “He almost got away with it too but this winter we are sprinkling the top of his head with SCOTT’S HALTS and a substance called PREEN.  These gardener’s products stop germination.”

Beginning in early March, Spector will have his head rubbed vigorously with these chemicals in the hope that he doesn’t up and blow away and start growing somewhere else — somewhere where there are guns and girls.

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